


Sonic Adventure Saga: Act 3

by Aschutamales



Series: Sonic Adventure Saga [4]
Category: Disney - All Media Types, Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Marvel (Comics), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, The Yogi Bear Show (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 23:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15806808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aschutamales/pseuds/Aschutamales
Summary: Sonic and his friends must gather the Chaos Emeralds in an attempt to stop Dr. Robotnik in his latest plot to take over the world.





	1. Previously on Spiderman

Previously on Spider-man

Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider created in a lab. The lab was owned by none other than Norman Osborn, who wanted to find a way to create his own super-soldier. Upon being bitten by the radioactive spider, Peter's DNA went through a rewriting and merging process that thus granted him his amazing abilities as the one and only Spider-man!

Now, as we go back and see all that he has accomplished in his four years of being the protector of new York. A threat has arisen in a form of six people. Dangerous they might be alone, but together they are sinister.

As Peter is on his nightly patrol one night, he strangely received a phone call. Although he remembered putting it on silent, he answers. "Hello?" Peter asked.

The call was coming from an unknown number. Perhaps it was a wrong call?

"Shut up bitch"

"Who is this?" Peter demanded. 

"Demand shit from me again and I'll call my boys on you"

"Wooah tough guy. Calling your kids to fight your own battles" Peter said

"Fuck you bitch. I'll come and whoop your ass. And then I'll go to Arby's and eat my KFC and McDonald's there"

"Um. OK.... Good luck with that" Peter hung up. "Woo boy, what's this town even come to? I hope that was a prank call"

But it wasn't. It was Shadow the fucking Hedgehog who is also the Barboon. And this is Sonic Adventures Act 3.


	2. Same old crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes are back and with more danger than ever before! Can they survive the future that involves evil things doing evil deeds in the name of evil itself? No one knows, not even me, the Writer knows anything.

Sonic Adventures  
Act 3: Chapter One: Same old crew

Shadow stood by Mr. Timothy's van and peeked in the window, "Fuck you assassin maid!" Shadow yelled. The maid ignored him, causing him to pull out his phone, "I'll fucking call my boys on you" 

The maid gave him a brief look. She looked past him to see if Luigi was alright. After confirming thus, she returned to waiting. 

Ryan walked over to Shadow and kicked him in the back. "Fucking scum! Leave her alone!" Ryan the living bomb commanded. "You're a bitch!" Shadow yelled in Ryan's face. Sonic walked over and broke up the fight. "Stop. We need to find Tails and we need to find him now" Sonic commanded. "Shut up bitch" Shadow said. Sonic slapped Shadow, grabbed his hand, pulled him over and punched him in the face. Knuckles ran over and kicked Shadow in the stomach. 

"You're a bitch!" Ryan yelled. He fired a laser beam at Knuckles. Knuckles jumped over it and landed an elbow on Ryan. Ryan yielded. For now.

"Stop fighting!" Luigi yelled. 

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Shadow screamed.

Luigi ran at Shadow. But Shadow just flew away from the scene. "Let him go" Daffy said as he and the rest of the group walked over. 

"Damn-it! Fucking Shadow and his edgy bullshit! We needed him!" Sonic yelled.

"It's fine" Daffy said. He walked over and slapped Sonic, "I said it's fine, bitch!"

"Fuck you Daffy!" Sonic said as he tackled the duck. Kill walked over and watched the whole fight. Mighty and Vector separated the two. "Enough of this. We need to find Tails. Sonic, do you have any way of finding him?" Knuckles asked.

"No" Sonic spat out.

"Daffy? Do you?" Vector asked.

Daffy spat in Vector's face. Vector responded by slamming Daffy onto the ground. 

"Wait!" Sonic remembered, "Let's go to Tails house. I just remembered something!"

Kill teleported everyone to Tails house, "Holy shit!" Sonic screamed. He sucker punched Mighty in the face and jumped out of the window. "Damn-it! Now we'll never find Tails!" Daffy yelled, "After him!" Luigi yelled. The assassin maid followed Sonic.

To Mario,

Mario knew he was being followed. He turned and saw a teenager. "What you want bitch?" Mario threatened as he took out a bat. The teen took a step back. "Fuck you brat!" Birdhammer yelled, "We'll fucking kill you" Mario said. 

The teen fled for his life. Mario nodded his head at Birdhammer. "Thanks for having my back" Mario said. As the two walked to a computer store, the real follower revealed himself.

Buggs Bunny disguised as a mail box. And also Solid Snake who was hiding under a box. But let's not forget the Skooma dealer, who drank 50 bottles of skooma and was fucking floating. But no, Mario assumed that shit was normal and that mail boxes and regular boxes can move on their own. Fuck you Mario, because you are wrong once again.

Buggs looked at the other two followers and asked, "Eh, what's up Doc?"

"I'm just here to do some online shopping. I didn't feel like taking the jeep here" Snake said. The Skooma dealer just screeched and flew higher into the sky.

The screech alerted Mario, who in turned fled the computer store with Birdhammer. God was also alerted and canceled his HBO subscription prematurely. The other Gods taunted God because of this. God became so angry that he created a new type of bug. And so the two headed spider fly was born. It was nonvenomous but would land on you and spit. Just spit and move. It ate berries by injecting it with Skooma and getting high off the fumes. After getting high, it could extend its tiny mouth to fit a grape sized fruit inside it. The grape would of course be compacted via computer software. It would have to update Windows every once in awhile due to new features and the such. But it was a small price and the updates were free. It only costed time. It also had a longer shelf life than baby carrots. 90 days.

After 15 days, its body clones itself as a newborn and those newborns clone too. The process was infinite. People were now terrified of God's creation that he finally got around to creating. He did say he was going to make it back in his college days, but was busy with school work and work and blah blah blah. Fuck you God.

God was pissed and made the writer write a paragraph dedicated to Hilbert the Glorious.

Hilbert the Glorious is a middle aged man who takes baths at 1am and screams at air planes. He owns a collection of swords that could arm a local gang. Which would be about 40 to 60 swords. He watches Sword Art Online and thinks it's the greatest anime ever and that Asuna is his Waifu or foo or whatever. Fuck SAO and fuck me for writing this pointless paragraph.

Mario fled from the floating Skooma drug dealer, who began chasing him. Mario threw small pieces of bread at the Khajit madman in hope of pleasing him. But it seemed the bread was the reason why the Skooma dealer was following. He was happy about the bread. It made him feel complete. Birdhammer tried to attack the Skooma dealer but was killed by a powerful lightning spell.

"Holy shit!" Mario screamed.

The Skooma dealer then picked up Mario and flew away. He wanted Mario as his new lover.

Buggs was not about to let this happen.

To Tails,

Rouge struggled to take control of the jet after Tails was tackled into her. All this was Yogi's fault. "Fuck you bear guy!" Tails screamed, he took a step forward to attack. But Yogi pulled out a blow dart. "Step forward to die" Yogi said. He blew his darts and Tails dodged.

The jet took a sudden nose dive, as the darts had hit and killed Rouge. Yogi pulled out a gun and pointed it at Tails, who rushed to take control of the jet. Birk tackled Yogi and thee two struggled for the gun. But Yogi overpowered the cop. "You can't beat me" Yogi said as he shoot Birk in the head. Willie backed up into the shadows. 

"Why are you doing this?" Tails asked as he put autopilot on. "We never got the picnic basket" Yogi said sadly, "Ever since I was but a wee lad, I've had a thing for picnic baskets. McDonald's wasn't good enough nor was Taco bell. But Jack had the box. So I ate there and became happy"

Yogi began to rub his belly, "It was so good! I even pushed the other customers out of the way to beat off to the cashier. The cashier happened to be a lady who tazed me. It felt so good when she slammed her boots on my face. But the cops came and I had to get the fuck out of there"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tails asked.

"When I went back to that place three weeks ago, I met a man named Larry. He had been there when I was at that place from three weeks ago. The place called Jack in the box. He remembered me from last time because I pushed him down and bitch slapped him. This time he pulled out a knife to rob me, but I ain't got any money. Realizing that, he pulled out soap and shoved it up my ass" Yogi laughed, "I clamped my butt cheeks together to keep his hand in there and stole his wallet. I unclamped and ran, but he chased"

"Yogi, this is really disgusting" Tails said

"What's really disgusting is when I stuck my hand in my ass to grab the soap. Of course I ate it. I mean, who wouldn't?" Yogi explained.

"Shut the fuck up" Tails said. This rewarded him with a bullet in the leg but his bulletproof leather pants absorbed the damage and thus made him stronger.

"I am tired of you. I will kill you and then eat one tail. Only one" Yogi shook his gun, "Then I'll eat this and kill the wolf guy with this" he pulled out a cigar. 

Just then Willie tackled Yogi. The two struggled for a bit before Yogi pushed him off. Tails had snuck up and taken the gun. "Fuck you bear!" Tails yelled. Yogi calmly reached into Birk's pocket and pulled out the Chaos Emerald. He used Chaos Control to escape. "Damn. What do we do now?" Tails asked.


	3. My time at the park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadow attacks a forest park

Chapter Two: My time at the park

Shadow sat on the ground and punched a rock. He decided to call Rouge but Tails said she was killed by Yogi. This angered him more, he had liked Yogi. But now the bear must die. He knew Sonic and the others were waiting for Tails and that having actually talked to Tails was a big deal. He didn't care. Fuck Sonic. Fuck the Chaos Emeralds. And fuck everything and everyone, this of course includes you reading this. Fuck you too. Shadow began smoking a cigar when a park ranger walked over to him. "Put that out now"

"Shut up bitch" Shadow replied. He didn't even bother looking at the ranger, so he didn't notice when the ranger bent over and took the cigar from him. Shadow screamed. "I'LL FUCKING CALL MY BOYS ON YOU!!!!"

The park ranger had already left. Shadow decided to strangle some animals. He stalked some deer and tried to approach. But they knew he was there and fled. Shadow then decided to use his movie style cut scene Chaos Control powers to teleport and kick each deer in the face. He snapped the last one's neck. "What the fuck man?" One deer asked. "Deer aren't don't have the English program supported on their hard drive. I suspect you have all been hacked" Shadow explained.

The deer all gasped. One even killed itself by deleting programs with wild abandon. It accidentally deleted its life support unit system and died. Shadow and the remaining deer pissed on the fool's corpse. A hunter came by and kneed Shadow in the chest. Shadow pulled out a knife and slit the fucker's throat.

"Okay deer. Follow me now!" Shadow screamed.

"Oh OK" the deer replied

Shadow teleported to a tree. The deer tried to teleport but overloaded their software and exploded. The explosion caused the forest to set on fire. Fire became the flames that would burn and kill. Murder would these flames accomplish in such a short time. Shadow would make sure of it.

The park ranger returned with a gun and the fire department and a couple of police officers. "HEDGEHOG!" The park ranger screamed.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Shadow screamed back.

The ranger fired a warning shot that hit the branch near Shadow's head.. Shadow lept off the trees and into the flames. The police followed but burned to death. Shadow had actually just teleported away as he wasn't fucking retarded. The ranger knew this and began helping the fire department deal with the murderous flames.

From the distance, Shadow watched. He observed and decided to smoke a cigar. After he finished it, he broke into the Ranger's office and began stealing things. A chair, pens, documents, a mirror and a desk drawer. He dumped the contents of the drawer on the floor. As he walked out of the office, five more rangers were waiting for him.

"Put it all back"

"Fuck you" shadow replied.

"We're not above kicking your ass"

Shadow pulled out a gun. The rangers each pulled out the staff of Tomorrow. This staff could extend and fire missiles, fireballs and death ray beams. Shadow surrendered. As he cleaned, he would scream "FUCK THIS PLACE!" or just scream in general. He took a long time cleaning and therefore wasted the Ranger's time.

The ranger whom Shadow encountered first had returned. She walked over to Shadow and demanded he hand over his lighter. But Shadow didn't use a lighter to light his cigars. He used the power of Chaos. It resided in anyone who came in contact with the Chaos Emeralds or some shit like that. He told the ranger to bend over for him. He was slapped.

Shadow screamed and fell to the floor. He knew birds were coming to kill people. But he didn't know how. He tried to tell the ranger this, but she only cared about how dangerous Shadow was for the park. She said she would call the vet or perhaps even the Pound. 

Shadow remarked how he'd like to pound her. He stared at her boobs. She pulled out a taser but he was unaffected by it. Pepper spray however.

"IT BURNS! YOU BITCH!" Shadow screamed.

Sonic called Shadow but the ranger had taken his phone. She answered it, "Who is this?" 

"Tell Shadow I said 'Shut up bitch' and also, tell yourself to go fuck yourself" Sonic hung up.

"WAS THAT SONIC!? SONIC SAVE ME!" Shadow screamed.

"He already hung up. He also told you to 'shut up bitch'" the ranger said.

"That motherfucker! We have to go kick his ass and burn his house down" Shadow demanded.

"Not until you pay for what you've done" a new voice said.

It was Smoky the bear. "Fuck you bitch" Shadow stated as he wiped his eyes, "I'll fucking call my boys on you"

Smoky punched Shadow in the face and kicked him, "I've dealt with your kind before, scum!" Smoky said, "Hedgehogs?" Shadow inquired.

"No. Barboons. Did you really think you were the only Barboon out there? There are plenty of your kind floating about. I'm just lucky you haven't yet awaken as one. I don't want my people here to be hurt"

"Fuck you for explaining things!" Shadow yelled, "I'll fuck you up!" 

"Go ahead and try it punk" Smoky said.

Shadow got up and pulled out a cigar, but Smoky slapped it out of his hand. "You piece of shit" Shadow said, "What do you want?" 

"Like I said earlier. I want you to pay for your crimes" Smoky said.

Shadow teleported out of the building and ran.

"I see you're going to make this hard. Lena, call my Woody friends" Smoky said to the ranger, finally naming her. Assassin maid still needs a name. Fuck you writer. Lena nodded her head and pulled out her phone.

As Shadow ran further into the woods, he encountered a bear. It wasn't Yogi. It was Booboo! "Hey you!" Shadow yelled, Booboo turned and looked, "Yes?"

"Fuck Yogi" Shadow said

"You know that madman?" 

"Yes. He killed two of my friends. He needs to pay" Shadow said

"That's nothing. A few days ago, Yogi killed all the children in a local orphanage. He only did it on a whim and because one of the kids didn't share a chocolate bar with him. The thing was, he didn't even like that brand. I tried to get him to realize that before he attacked anyone, but you know Yogi. He killed 35 children that day. There was a man hunt with police dogs and it was all over the news. But it was of course it was overshadowed by the other usual crimes. This place has really gone downhill. This is why I've been living here in the woods" Booboo explained, "Also, I've legally changed my name to Jeff. It's better I not associate with a child killer in any way possible. If you do see Yogi again.... Kill him"

Jeff walked away.

Shadow had no idea what to do with the knowledge that was dropped on him. He itched his belly. As he sat on a rock, he reflected on what he's done so far. Which was nothing. He regretted not yelling more at the assassin maid. "FUCK YOU ASSASSIN MAID!" Shadow screamed. At Tails house, the assassin maid sneezed. "Are you OK?" Daffy asked. Daffy then looked up and saw what was going on. "Fucking Shadow!" Daffy yelled.

He asked Kill to relocate him to where Shadow was and Kill complied with his wishes. This did not conflict with the story at all. Daffy smiled as he walked over to Shadow. He slapped his bitch ass to glory. "Take that bitch!" Daffy yelled.

Shadow rubbed his face, "Daffy you're here! Thank God!"

Daffy blinked.

"What?"

"We need to get out of here and fast!" Shadow yelled.

"It's too late for that" Smoky said as he and a few others walked forward to reveal themselves. Wood elves, except for Lena. "Damn-it" Daffy yelled. He pulled out a semi automatic rifle. 

"Woah" Lena said as she backed up a bit.

The wood elves however, readied fireballs. "Bring it bitch!" Daffy yelled. He passed Shadow a knife and cabbage that he took a bite out of earlier. "We'll kill everyone here and" Daffy looked at Lena and surrendered. 

"WHAT!?" Shadow screamed.

"That's the chick I'm dating. And also I actually have nothing to do with this battle. So I'm free to go" Daffy said. He slammed the butt of his rifle in Shadow's face, knocking him out. "Well he's all yours boys" Daffy announced.

The wood elves walked over and carried Shadow away. Lena walked over to Daffy and gave his head a light pat, "What a good duck you are" she said. Clearly sarcasm. "I had things under control until you showed up. I wanted that promotion and I was this close to getting it! But I guess I'll wait until the asshole breaks out again"

"What were you going to do? Teleport behind him?" Daffy asked. She nodded. Daffy's secret girlfriend knew how to use Chaos Control. But in a limited form. Probably because she once had a Chaos Emerald. Lena handed Daffy, Shadow's phone. "I think that Sonic guy called. He told me to go fuck myself"

"Maybe I'll join you later when that happens" Daffy said, "But for now I've got to go find someone"

Just then. Tails called.

And somewhere, you could probably hear Mario yell out a "Holy shit!"


	4. Sonic Dash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group falls apart.....again

Chapter Three: Sonic Dash

Sonic was tackled and held to the ground by the assassin maid. Sonic screamed in her ear which forced her to shove a cloth in his mouth. 

"Good job" Luigi said as he and the others walked over to where the action was. Knuckles ran over and socked Sonic in the jaw. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Mighty walked over, picked up Sonic and threw him. Before he could go to stomp the hedgehog, he was stopped by Vector. "This is not the way Mighty!" Vector said. Mighty did not care. The assassin maid went over to Sonic and ungagged him. "FUCK DA POLICE" Sonic screamed.

A police officer who was driving nearby pulled over. As he made his way to Sonic, a bird swooped down and stabbed him. The bird landed behind the cop car. Sonic saw this and ran to catch the officer. "S-sonic.... Listen closely.... I don't have that much time l-left" the cop said.

"What is it?" Sonic asked sadly.

There was no response.

"What?" Sonic asked again.

Still no response.

"TELL ME BITCH!!!" Sonic screamed.

The cop head butted Sonic. "I'll kill you and eat your dead body!"

Vector quickly ran over and pushed Sonic out of the way. After lifting the officer up, he threw the cop at the cop's car. Kill fired a fireball at the car, causing it to explode. The bird died as well.

"I guess the bird wasn't the word" Daffy said to tails via a cellular device. His words were transformed into electrical energy and then reformed into words that Tails understood. "What are you informing me about with the use of electrical communication in the digital age?" Tails had inquired from his longstanding companion.

"It appears to be a logical error on my part. I seem to have access to information I previously did not. I apologize for any misgivings that have affected you" Daffy replied. Although perhaps, a question may arise about the occurrence that has otherwise disrupted a peaceful dialogue. I am afraid to inform you that you will receive no information. 

As Sonic walked over to Vector, Mighty stood in the way. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic said. Sonic tried to slap Mighty, but Mighty was too quick and grabbed Sonic's arm mid strike. "Shit!" Sonic said surprised. Sonic than screamed as he tried to free himself. Luigi ran over to Sonic and grabbed his other arm. He soon began screaming too. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Mighty yelled. 

Knuckles walked over, "Guys. We have to stop Eggman. But we need Tails"

"Fuck you knuckles!" Sonic said. He went back to screaming.

Mighty punched Sonic in the face.

Sonic and Luigi stopped. "He's right. We need to find Tails" Luigi said. "We need to use his computer to track his jet" Sonic stated.

"Good idea. That's get to it people" Knuckles said.

Mighty punched Sonic again, "What the fuck, bitch?" Luigi yelled.

Luigi got in Mighty's face, "What. The. Fuck. Bitch" Luigi repeated. He spat out each word as if he were eating the most tender of all beef jerky. Mighty pushed Luigi back and began beating Sonic. Knuckles and Vector rushed over to the situation but, it was Luigi who responded first by tackling Mighty to the floor. As the two fought on the ground, Sonic got up and jumped into the bushes. 

"You guys! Stop!" Knuckles yelled. He and Vector separated their fighting friends. "Fuck this red bitch. I'll fuck him up next time he's out of line" Luigi said. Vector was the one who grabbed Luigi, so he let him go. Everyone watched as he walked over to the bushes where Sonic was hiding. Sonic peaked his head out. "Let's go find Tails" Luigi said.

They all entered Tails house. But Mr. Timothy was already on the computer searching. He was inside the house the whole time. Ryan the living bomb stood next to him.

"I found Tails. He's actually on his way here. He made a brief stop somewhere"

"Excellent" Luigi said.

Sonic received a cellular device activation signal that notifies you when there is incoming transmissions from someone who wishes to speak words translated from digital energy to the intended target. Perhaps this way could be seen as a way of assassination. Damn the Gods.

It was Daffy who was calling, so Sonic picked up. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic said, "What the fuck? Tails is going to crash this plane into his house and kill everyone inside!" Daffy replied.

"Do it! We don't deserve to live anymore!" Sonic screamed

Tails had taken the phone, "Shut the fuck up Sonic. Listen, Birk and Rouge are dead"

"Fuck you. Fuck those two and fuck dead Goofy!" Sonic yelled.

Tails hung up. Daffy called Knuckles and explained the situation. "I see. We'll keep an eye out for him then. Where's Shadow?" Knuckles asked.

"Dumb-ass tried to burn down the forest. Smoky the bear has him. At least for now. We can go get his ass later. For now let's focus on collecting the Chaos Emeralds"

"We'll see you soon then" Knuckles said.

"Oh! And one last thing. Well actually two... First, I think I saw some kind of floating cat fly off with Mario. Secondly, punch Sonic in the balls for me"

"Will do" Knuckles smirked.

He walked over to Sonic and slammed his fist into Sonic's groin.


	5. The perfect rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rescue mission is attempted.

Chapter Four: The perfect rescue

Metal watched as the city's most notorious drug lord flew off with Mario. He was shocked at how everything went absolutely wrong. He compared it taking the winning lotto ticket in the store to discover that the earnings were only 250 grand. While that was still a good thing, it felt rather cheap and somewhat not really worth it. This was a piss poor comparison. I honestly would have compared it to an old Russian woman picking up the wrong log. It was wrong because she wanted to use it for a bird house. She of course, would have to down another tree with a pocket knife. She was that strong. All Russian woman were, so go Marry a Russian lady now lads.

Bugs approached Metal, "Hey. You know that red Italian?" He asked

"Yup" Metal said

"I called my boys, but they can meet us at where ever drug cat stops at" Bugs said as he walked off. Metal followed closely.

To HatMaster67

The one and only time that an online gamer of this caliber came online was either after 7pm or when shit went down. And did it ever go down as hard as today? No.

The hatmaster sat alone in his room as he usually does and booted up his PC. He was a tad fat. Okay, he's overweight and a huge nerd. His friends often come by to use his Wi-Fi or talk shit. Not about him because he can easily find out about it and honesty speaking, he's the only friend they can be open to. A fact he doesn't quite understand fully. He rather assume it's because he has stacked up quite a good amount of money due to being an I.T guy. A really good one too.

Hatmaster decided to play a quick game of League before getting to the main event. Side dishes are always important. But before he could dig in, he received a call. Espio.

"What do you need this time purple?" Hatmaster asked.

"Information"

"Of bloody course you do. Alright then. What's going wrong this time? Did that idiot hedgehog recreate blendercat again?"

"No. Tails actually got around to wiping Sonic's memory of those events"

"About time. Tell that lazy asshole to to get off his ass quicker next time"

"You know exactly what he'll say to that. But regarding the reason for my call. I need Intel on Off-Flower"

"That old G.U.N black ops unit? Sure. Give me a few hours, I'll see what I can dig up" Hatmaster said.

After the call ended, hatmaster made a quick call to an old contact. "What is it you want?" The contact demanded. "Oh, now you're an hard-ass huh? Go to the gym once and get steel balls. Sure, that makes sense" Hatmaster said.

"Get to ze point"

"I got a job for you"

"I'm listening"

To Mario,

Mario was screaming at the top of his lungs. He couldn't get himself free from this asshole cat's grip. Even if he could, he'd probably be falling to his death. The cat had gained a lot of altitude.

To Sonic,

Sonic was also screaming. He was on the floor holding himself after knuckles punched his manhood.

To Spider-man,

Peter Parker had got around to tracing the mysterious drug lord that disappeared. He had to go to a very dangerous city. As Peter got off his bus, he witness a lady firing a gun at someone who stole from her. A nearby police officer saw this and threw a knife at her. It hit its mark and killed her. Several homeless exited the sewers to eat the lady's corpse. The thief who got away was hit by a car. The driver got out and started looting the dead body.

Peter was shocked at how corrupt this city was.

Peter shook his head and quickly made his way to the hotel he booked. He regretted having to borrow money from Tony Stark. But since the reviews from the other hotels were downright terrible, he felt that he made the right decision. His phone rang, he quickly picked it up.

"Peter. Did you make it to the town safely?" 

It was Mary Jane.

"Oh Mary Jane! I did. I'm just heading to the hotel now. Oh excuse me" Peter had ran into someone. "Shut up bitch!" That someone said. It was one of Shadow's boys. Peter ignored him and continued on his way. But that boy did not like. He did not like at all. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" The boy yelled. Even though he was a 27 year old man. Peter paused and looked at the guy. "Can I help you?"

"Fuck you" the boy man yelled and just walked away.

'This town is insane' Peter thought. As he continued on his way, he noticed a couple of people had beheaded a raccoon and were smearing its blood on each other's faces. Peter had no idea what to think anymore.

To Metal,

Metal and Bugs attempt of following the drug lord from down on the ground was failing. "Damn. What do we do now?" Buggs pondered, "Follow Mario's phone?" Metal proposed.

"Good idea. Let's do that!" Buggs said.

"Good. Because I've been tracking his devices for years" Metal said, he pulled out a device and flipped a switch. There was a loud beep. The nearby people began panicking, assuming a bomb was about to go off. Metal threw the device at a nearby window. He and Buggs ran down the street where Metal pulled out the real tracking device. "We should be able to find him now" Metal said.

"What the fuck was that we just ran from?" Buggs demanded. "Nothing" Metal said.

They continued on their way.

Back in town, 

A few people wandered over to the device with weapons drawn. "What is it?" One person called out.

A taxi driver poked it with a stick. The device shut off due to no power. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" A mailman yelled.

Nothing had happened when something was expected to. No one knew how to deal with such an event. One person set themselves on fire to please the Gods. As the remaining people gathered around the burning flesh, they began to hold hands. The Gods saw and slowly backed away from this train wreck. One of the Gods summoned a two headed whale with a pack of wolves inside of it, a bear with two knives and 15 puppy sized ants that hate humans five feet in front of the circle.

The whale opened its mouth and out came the mini army. The people saw and rushed to action and to die with honor.

To Metal,

As Metal and Buggs slowly made their way to Mario, Metal noticed that the signal showing them Mario's location stopped moving. "He must be in that little shack at the top of the building there" Metal pointed out.

"Where are you getting your Intel from?" Buggs asked.

"From your mom's asshole, bitch"

"After we take care of this business here, I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass" Bugs threatened.

They entered the building. "Can I help you?" The receptionist asked. Buggs pulled out a gun and shot her in the face. Security was alerted which put the whole building on lockdown. "Fuck this shit" Metal said.

The two ran to an elevator, but they were deactivated. "Looks like we'll have to take the stairs. Sure, the other one works, but guards are using those" Metal said.

As he said that, the security team exited the elevator. "FREEZE!" A guard yelled.

Buggs hid behind a trash can and Metal just stood there. The guards all opened fire causing the bullets to bounce off of Metal's armor. "Damn. We just have to kick their asses with mêlée weapons" a guard observed. One guard rushed forward swinging an axe. Metal dodged and slammed his head into the guard's solar Plex. With the guard's orbital constitution out of line, he died in mid air and floated up to the ceiling.

Buggs fired a few shots at the other guards, but they blocked it with shields. "Damn!" Buggs yelled out, "We better get out before they use tactics on us"

The two fled to the fire escape as the guards switched to bows and arrows. They narrowly escaped as it began raining arrows. Most of the arrow fire got caught on the ceiling. After 45 seconds would the chase begin. Everyone knew this. Even you, the Reader knew as well.

"Why did we piss off security?" Metal asked

"So my boys don't get caught on camera" Buggs replied smugly.

Outside,

Nate, Steve and the Dog were climbing up the building using power pants to just walk up it. They even made sport of it by racing each other. A helicopter saw this and activated its loud speaker, "Fuck you people. Next time hire me!"

But he would be hired sooner than he thought. As the three made it to the top, they could hear screaming. "We have to hurry!" The dog announced.

To Mario,

The Khajit Drug lord had ripped a hole in Mario's pants and slowly pushed a pencil in his ass, purring as he did so. Mario's screams became much more louder but the drug lord did not care. He would soon have a lover. 

Outside,

Nate placed C4 around the shack the screams were coming from. Steve entered the shack and discovered the horrors that were unfolding for Mario. He also noticed chips on the floor. The carelessly discarded food became a top priority for Steve as he lunged for them.

The drug lord saw and knew his chips were in danger. "HOW DARE YOU?!" He yelled.

Steve hissed, pointed at the chips and then his mouth.

Also, Mario stopped screaming. But that wasn't important. The chips were.

"Fuck you writer!" Mario yelled.


	6. Tails returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tails has returned. But will he stop the group from attacking itself?

Chapter Five: Tails returns

Sonic was on the ground in shear pain. Mighty was watching him like a hawk. Sonic looked over to him and yelled, "FUCK YOU MIGHTY!!"

Mighty did not like that one bit. He walked over to Sonic and kicked him in the face. Mighty then pulled out a knife, but Knuckles grabbed his hand. "Let me go!" He yelled.

"No. You are both out of control" Knuckles shouted, "He's not going to be happy that you're using his name like this"

Mighty dropped the knife. "Fine, I'll go cool off" Mighty announced as Knuckles let go. Sonic made eye contact with Mighty, "Fuck you bitch" Sonic yelled.

Mighty ignored this and walked away. "Sonic, knock it off" Knuckles ordered. "Fuck you Knuckles" Sonic hissed, "Fuck you like I fucked your mom last night while we were drowning inside of a wormhole leading to another dimension! We would have died if it weren't for your sister!"

Knuckles took a step forward, "Sonic.... I'm warning you"

"Shut up bitch!" Sonic screamed. 

"Enough!" Vector shouted, "I don't understand why we're even arguing with this guy. He's a piece of shit person!"

Sonic got up and rammed Vector to the floor and began pummeling him. Vector pushed Sonic off and knuckles tackled the hedgehog. "You fiend!!" Luigi shouted. "Fuck you bitch" Ryan yelled and pointed at Mighty who was running to attack Luigi. Ryan slammed into Mighty and their fight began. Luigi pulled out a bat and began smashing computers. Vector rushed over to stop him.

But....

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES DOING TO MY LAB??!!?" Tails howled. "Shut up bitch!" Sonic howled back whilst being punched by Knuckles.

"I'll pay for the equipment for new ones. Some premium military grade shit" Luigi said.

Daffy walked over to Mr. Timothy, "Thank you for the help Mr. Timothy"

"Oh it's no problem. I'll see you young-ins later!" Mr. Timothy said. He soon left.

Tails walked over to Sonic to kicked him in the face. Daffy ran over and kicked Sonic also. "Knuckles, we've got big problems" Daffy said.

"New problems?" Knuckles asked.

The fighting stopped.

"Yeah. You're a bitch!" Daffy ran and slapped Knuckles.

Knuckles and Daffy began fighting which resumed the overall violence. Tails started kicking Sonic while he was down. Mighty and Ryan continued their fight. Vector pulled Luigi away from the computers. Luigi responded by head butting Vector which started their fight. The only ones not fighting stood to the sides and watched. Kill smiled at all the fighting, the assassin maid only cared for Luigi's safety. Willie however, got in contact with Espio after hearing about who was in the group via the computer files. He decided to give him a call.

"Espio. Do you read me?"

"Who is this?"

"I'm an associate of Tails and Sonic. I have a request for you"

"Go ahead"

"I'm going to send you a location. I'm hoping you'll be able to meet me and a few others there"

"Depends on who it is"

"Sonic, Luigi, Daffy and Tails"

"Fine. Awaiting coordinates now"

"Thank you" Willie said as he sent Espio the data. He then turned to the violence.

"Knuckles!"

Knuckles and Daffy halted the combative situation they were involved with. "What is it?" He replied.

"I've made a plan to deal with Eggman. I need you to form a team. I'm borrowing Luigi. Sonic, Tails, Daffy and I are going for a emerald. We're meeting up with Espio"

"Great! It's about time we fight someone that isn't ourselves!" Daffy chimed in.

"Or just random people really" Sonic added.

The overall fighting had stopped again. "Eggman was supposed to be the one we all went after. Too bad Sonic's a bitch" Tails said. "Fuck you fox thing!" Luigi shouted. 

"Luigi no!" Knuckles said attempting to stop a third fight. "Shut the fuck up Knuckles. You are bitch!" Sonic yelled.

"Don't speak to him that way asshole!" Mighty said. "Fuck you bitch" Sonic replied, he spat on the ground. "Watch yourself" Tails threatened.

"You threatening people fox bitch?!" Ryan yelled running at Tails. Knuckles grabbed Ryan before he got near Tails. "PIECE OF SHIT!!!" Sonic and Luigi yelled. They ran at Knuckles, Mighty bolted towards Sonic.

There would be a third fight.


	7. Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rescue mission was a failure. Mario has to save himself.

Chapter Six: Rage

Mario pulled out the pencil in his ass and got up. He noted that while Steve and the Drug Lord were fighting, he could possibly escape. He pulled out his phone and called the fire department.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!" He screamed into the phone

"Don't worry, we're on our way to your current location now" a firefighter said

"Thank you" Mario barely whispered

The drug lord and Steve heard Mario's cries for help but did not care. They needed to finish this fight for the chips.

As Mario got off the object thing he was on, he realized he needed new pants. "God. Give me pants please....." He sadly said to himself. God heard Mario's cries and repaired the ripped pants. Mario jumped in the air cheering. He landed on Nate and the Dog, causing the three of them to tumble.

Mario screamed again as he was once again kidnapped. Nate whistled for Steve, who backed off from his fight for floor chips...for now. The three new kidnappers escaped from the area, Nate set off the C4 as they jumped into the helicopter. The pilot purred with joy as he was finally was hired by someone.

Outside,

Buggs and Metal had escaped the building via the fire escape. They looked up and saw a helicopter in a firefight with a floating cat person. Buggs began to eat a carrot. 

"What the fuck is this?" Metal questioned.

The wails of police sirens soon filled the air, "We need to get the fuck out of here" Buggs urged.

Metal pulled out a semiautomatic pistol and a knife that could cut nothing. "Bring them!" Metal challenged. "Not today. We gotta get this red hat" Buggs said.

He grabbed Metal by the arm and they fled the area. What they didn't know was that the cops were coming to fight Count Mack.

Count Mack had broke into a KFC drive through window and began attacking the employees with long bread that was burnt. While the employees were able to fend for themselves for a time, the Count had pulled out a second long burnt bread. This allowed him to easily overpower everyone. A customer had then called the police, pulled out a gun and fired upon the Count. While the customer recorded head-shots, it did nothing to stop the Count. The Count wanted a free soda which the manager had finally caved in and gave out. As the Count drank his victory soda, a cop rolled into thee restaurant and threw a smoke grenade. "HOW DARE YOU!?" The Count screamed.

The cop pulled out some nun-chucks and jumped at the Count. The two fools clashed in their meaningless battle. The Gods watched with awe and wonder. Perhaps this would later on be expanded with new story and lore. But only if the Gods themselves will it to be. Or perhaps even the powerful Writer.

But regardless of this, Buggs and Metal fled the area, both vowing to meet up with the others at a later date.

To Mario,

Mario had by then pieced together that his kidnappers were actually his saviors. He would help the trio fight off the Drug lord. Picking up an AK-47, he made his way to an opening, I.e the helicopter door(Which was already opened since Nate was also using an AK). But just then, the Mario's and Nate's gun were webbed up and yanked from their hands. 

Spider-man had entered the fray. "Didn't that cat meme die years ago?" Spider-man asked as he slammed his feet into the Khajit Drug Lord's face. The Drug Lord hissed and flew higher into the sky. Mario fired a fireball at the cat. The helicopter hissed and fire missiles at both Spider-man and the Drug Lord. Spider-man had dodged and rerouted the missiles to crash into each other. But the Khajit had tanked his missiles. "HOLY SHIT!" Mario screamed.

Mario's mouth was quickly covered by webs. The dog growled and threw a bone at Spider-man. "Woah! Bad dog" Spider-man joked, landing on the helicopter. "You bastard! We have to stop this guy! The drug lord I mean" the pilot quickly said. Nate nodded and began throwing rocks at the cat. Spider-man also attempts to web up the cat.

The Khajit's hisses turn into a mighty roar of thunderous hatred. The ground quaked and a storm began to stir. Mario had burned off the webs covering his mouth, "Fuck you bitch!" Mario yelled at Spider-man.   
Spider-man noted that his spider senses are going off with such alarm that a shark could possibly arm himself with so much weaponry, that he could kill at least 45 people. As the Khajit's body began to glow multi colored, Mario's body began to glow red. Thinking quickly, Spider-man grabs Nate and jumped off the helicopter just as the Drug Lord slams into the helicopter and Mario slams into the Drug Lord. The following explosion sent a shock-wave that caused Spider-man to slam into a building. He held Nate close in an attempt to keep the young child safe.

Once the danger had passed, Spider-man leapt to the ground and released Nate. "Well... It's over" he said sadly.

Nate looked to the ground sadly. He had not only failed in his mission of saving Mario, but he had lost his friends. What would Buggs do when he heard this terrible news? Nate began to cry. 

To Buggs, 

They could only guess at what occurred. The explosion was felt all across the city. "Did they....fail?" Metal asked.

Buggs shakily took out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a puff, he replied. "Shut up bitch" he slapped Metal, but it didn't harm Metal. "We should go check out what happened and then we'll go our separate ways" Metal bitterly spat out.

"Fine"

The two rushed back to the scene of the crime.

To Mario,

Mario had survived. He crashed landed in the KFC building. The Count saw and rushed over to him. Mack began to strangle a dizzy Mario. "YOU'LL DIE HERE!" The Count screamed. The cop that had thrown the smoke grenade realized his plan had failed thanks to the red hatted idiot. Soon backup would arrive and none of this would matter. Except for when the Gods would come to have their way. But that was a far off plan. The Gods, God and the Writer would all come together to plot their plots and scheme their schemes. But more importantly, they would eat pizza.

Mario slammed his fist into Mack's face, forcing the Count to let go of the plumber's throat. "Listen here, you piece of shit...." Mario began.

The cop ran forward to attack, but Mario incinerated him with fire. Mario pushed Mack back and stood up. "I'll fucking kill you if you mess with me" Mario said as he walked away.

But the police had arrived. Mario reached for the sky. "HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!!" Mario screamed at the top of his lungs. A few SWAT team members rushed over and carried Mario to safety. A few more people ran out seeing how the Count was defeated. 

The day was saved for now. Count Mack was arrested.

To Buggs,

Buggs and Metal walked back to the crime scene and spotted Nate. Upon regrouping, Nate explained what had happened. "So they're all dead?" Metal asked sadly. Nate nodded and added that Spider-man was also alive. "Fuck that piece of shit. Sure, I'm glad he saved your life. But that fucker's got some nerve" Buggs said, "Most of my boys are dead!" 

Metal slapped Buggs, "Shut the fuck up. No one cares"

Nate and Buggs began to viciously beat Metal to the ground with the power of supreme hatred. This was a power Metal's armor could not withstand. "The fuck you say to me bitch?" Buggs yelled, "THE. FUCK. YOU. SAY?" He screamed.

Nate snapped Metal's neck and the two just left his body there. "Let's get the fuck out of here. Time to recruit new members" Buggs said.

To Mario,

Mario called his butler to come pick him up. He was in no mood to deal with the Driver. He had no idea what happened to Metal. Probably killed off in that huge explosion. He assumed Metal was the copilot of that helicopter because I, as the Writer commanded it to be so.

Fuck you Writer.

That statement was ignored and the story continues as so.

As Mario waited sadly, wrapped in a police blanket and sipping a hot drink, he spotted that Rabbit and the young boy he saw Spider-man rescue. "Motherfuckers..." Mario whispered to himself. He vowed to be the one to kill that wabbit if it were the last thing he ever did.

Just then, someone slipped him a card.

Elmer Fudd, Hunter.

"What the fuck am I suppose to do with this shit?" Mario threw the card away into another universe.


	8. Birds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birds....

Chapter Seven: Birds

Willie fired a gun into the air before another fight could break out. "We have a job to do" Willie said. Knuckles let go of Ryan, "You're right. Let's go get ready for our respective missions"

"Shut the fuck up Knuckles! I wish I was the one who killed your people in a genocide!" Sonic yelled. There was a long pause.

"What did you say Sonic?" Knuckles took a step towards Sonic.

"I'll fuck your mom's dead corpse and eat it. Mmmmm extra crispy" Sonic said rubbing his belly.

Knuckles was pissed.

Tails slapped the shit out of Sonic before he could say anything else. "Enough! Eggman first" Tails told Knuckles. Knuckles, still eyeing Sonic, slowly nodded.

The group split up into two teams. Before they all left, Knuckles pulled Sonic to the side and threatened him, "Listen.... After all of this is finished with, you're done. Do you understand me?"

Sonic spat in Knuckles face. Knuckles responded by punching Sonic in the face. Tails ran over and dragged Sonic away. Sonic and Knuckles glared at each other as everyone left. "Fuck you Knuckles!" Daffy yelled, "I'll whoop your ass after this shit!"

"Stay out of this Daffy" Mighty threatened. "I'll shove my foot up your ass, out of your mouth and into mine" Daffy countered.

"Guys! Let's go!" Tails commanded.

Daffy, Sonic, Mighty and Knuckles mumbled an agreement. 

Willie's group slowly entered Tails jet. While Willie had Luigi and the assassin maid help him start up the jet, Tails pulled Sonic and Daffy aside. "Who the fuck do you think you are? Both of you!" Tails yelled.

"Fuck off Tails! I'll fuck you up, asshole" Sonic said

"Tails.... Our beef with Knuckles has been thawing on the kitchen counter for quite some time. I don't know about Sonic, but I want Tacos and to kick Knuckles ass" Daffy explained.

"After Eggman's taken care of.... You two might want to avoid Knuckles" Tails suggested as he walked away.

"Thanks. But we can handle him" Sonic said smiling.

To Knuckles,

As Knuckles and his group got into the van, Vector spoke up. "What are you going to do about Sonic?"

"Let's not talk about that right now" Knuckles said.

"Fine" Vector said.

"Where are we going?" Ryan asked, "We're going to steal from Eggman" Mighty said.

"Fuck Eggman" Ryan said.

To Captain Gunkill,

The reckoning was coming. He could feel it resonating in his bones. Shivers shimmering throughout his body making his bones sing. Fear.

Birds were coming.

To Shadow,

Shadow sat alone in a cold, dark cell.

"Fuck this place" Shadow whispered.

He picked up a chair and slammed it against the wall and screamed.

"THE BIRDS ARE COMING!" He screamed.

"What's going on in here?" Smoky demanded.

"Fuck you" Shadow sat back down, "Where are my cigars?" 

"You're not getting anything" Smoky laughed.

"I'll kill everyone here and burn the forest down" 

Smoky let the comment pass. "FUCK YOU!" Shadow screamed.

Smoky left the room.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Shadow continued to scream, "I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

Far from here, a bird had been listening to Shadow. He pulled out a phone. After three rings exactly, a voice was heard. "God will damn you" the voice greeted. 'Such a wonderful greeting for all you damned Sinners. You will know the power of God' God wrote. The bird was shocked and realized he called the wrong number. He quickly hung up and texted the right number. He then killed himself.

A few other birds flocked over to the body and burned it. They contained the flames as they were in enemy territory. "Fuck this place!" A bird said.

The birds pulled out knives and pointed them in the air, "Death comes to all!"

The birds had come.

"Hey!" Shadow yelled out attempting to get the Writer's attention but instead getting the attention of the bagman. The bagman tried to climb into the barred windows but failed. Frustrated, he fired a gun at the window.

Shadow rushed over to the window, "Fuck you bitch"

Shadow then looked around and screamed. The bagman ran away as the park rangers appeared on the scene. "Who was that man?" A ranger asked. 

"Shut up bitch" Shadow replied.

"Shadow. Who?"

"I SAID SHUT UP BITCH!!!"

"Let's just leave" a ranger suggested. They did indeed leave. Shadow continued to scream at the top of his lungs.

About birds.....


	9. Shockingly fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonic's group manages to gain another Chaos Emerald.

Chapter Eight: Shockingly fast

Sonic looked out the window. He wanted to be there in the sky, but Tails is a bitch. Sonic wanted to open the door to the jet and let everyone die, but he couldn't. The earlier statement still applies to this situation. "Fuck you Tails" Sonic said offhandedly.

Tails ignored him.

This pissed Sonic off, as he got up he noticed Daffy looking at him. No wait... Through him. "What the fuck bitch!?" Sonic howled. Daffy snapped out of his daydream just as Sonic lunged at him. Daffy easily sidestepped the move and Sonic landed on the floor face first. "Dumb-ass piece of shit bastard cunt who's face I use to wipe my ass" Daffy began, "I'll throw you out of this plane and crash it into you so we all die together"

"Do it!" Sonic said

Daffy took a step toward Willie.

"Sit down" Tails said.

Daffy took another step.

Luigi got up.

Daffy and Luigi stared at each other. 

"Fuck you both!" Sonic said.

Daffy walked over to Luigi and the two began a round of Quack dill-E-O-So. "What?" Tails asked, Sonic threw a rock at him, "FUCK YOU TAILS!" he screamed.

The rock was actually a Chaos Emerald. "What the fuck Sonic?!" Tails yelled.

"Hold on to it. I know the other two are on here as well" Sonic simply stated.

"You already know the plan and so does the reader" Tails added. He pushed a button and Sonic teleported to a different location. "Where'd you send him, bitch?" Daffy yelled.

"To the Special Zone. It's a shortcut to one of the emerald locations. Also.... GO FUCK YOURSELF" tails screamed as he ran at Daffy. Daffy cleared the rest of the distance by jumping at Tails and the two began their fight.

Luigi walked over to a window and looked out. He wanted to smoke a cigar, but Tails is a bitch. He wanted to crash the jet and escape via a parachute provided by the assassin maid. The two of them could escape and live in the desert. But the reason from before still applies.

"Fuck you Tails" Luigi whispered.

To Sonic, 

Sonic appeared inside the special zone, he had to collect 62 blue spheres while avoiding the red ones. "Fuck this shit" Sonic said to no one. Sonic pulled out a cigar and sat down. He took two puffs before calling up the Park rangers.

It was the lady who captured Shadow who picked up. "Hello, this is the Park Ranger's office. How may I help you?"

"Have you recently captured a dark skinned individual who abuses small animals and is also an animal himself?"

"Are you aware of how racist that question sounds?"

"Fuck you bitch! Answer the DAMN question"

The ranger hung up.

"Damn-it!" Sonic said as he dialed the number again. But someone else picked up. Smoky the bear!

"Hello? This is the park"

"Fuck you bitch! I'm coming to kick your ass and save Shadow!"

"Oooh you're welcome to try"

Sonic hung up and screamed. He went off to collect the blue orbs needed to pass the level. He complained as he jumped, ran and slid all over the place. Eventually he captured all 62 of the orbs and 45 rings to go with them. Instead of receiving a emerald, he was teleported to a area near one. One of Eggman's emeralds.

But it was a trap!

"Well well well. Look who we have here... An intruder" an Eggman lookalike with a golden mustache announced. He flicked a switch and down came a platform with an orange jump suit wearing psycho...  
THE SHOCKER!!!

"Fuck you bitch!" Sonic yelled, "I'll kill your whole family!"

"Woah there, that's not what a hero usually says" the Shocker stated.

"Fuck you and your mother"

"Keep mah mother out of this!"

"Fine! I'll go fuck your sister!!!" Sonic screamed.

The Shocker fired a shock-wave at the hedgehog. "PETA's going to be pissed!" Sonic shouted as he dodged the oncoming barrage of shock-waves sent flying his way. Also, PETA is always pissed. Sonic once dropped acid and tried to strangle a cat after thinking it had betrayed Alice. The same girl who painted white roses red. PETA found out when someone uploaded a video of Sonic on Facebook.

Sonic went in for a punch but was tackled to the ground by a mecha Sonic. "Shit!" Sonic hissed. While mecha Sonic held Sonic down, the Shocker began beating on the poor fool. Sonic screamed and yelled about how he'd fuck the Shocker's sister. The Shocker grew more and more angrier. "SHUT UP!" the Shocker yelled in Sonic's bleeding face. Sonic spat blood on the Shocker's mask, "Suck my balls, Bitch;"

The Shocker began punching Sonic in the balls making Sonic scream louder. As Shocker backed off to calm himself, Sonic did a spin to free himself from mecha Sonic. Mecha exploded due to his humiliating defeat and dishonor for all ages. Bitch ass robot was fucking useless and everyone knew that. Everyone. Even you reader. You knew this to be true after searching deep down in your heart. Because it is true. Eggman even knew. The goddamn creator of the robot knew this particular unit was garbage. 

"You may have beaten that robot, but you're too damaged to defeat me!" The Shocker yelled.

"Shut up bitch" Sonic replied as he lunged at The Shocker. The Shocker fired more shock-waves but Sonic dodged around them. Sonic slammed his fist into the yellow jumpsuited foe. Ones punch knocked The Shocker back. Sonic followed this up with a swift kick and a finishing punch. The Shocker was down, but the Eggman lookalike was nowhere to be seen. 

"Self destruct sequence has begun. 45 seconds until complete destruction of this facility" a voice announced.

"Fuck this shit!" Sonic yelled as he picked up the unconscious jumpsuit idiot. As Sonic picked up the Chaos Emerald, he received a call. 

"Fuck you bitch! I'm busy!" Sonic yelled.

"I'll whoop your ass!" Mario yelled back, "Where's Tails?"

"Go call him, you cunt. Or I'll kill you in your sleep"

"That's it! I'm coming to whoop your ass! Where are you?"

"Meet me at the forest park where Shadow is"

"Stop breaking the fourth wall bitch"

"Fuck you"

Sonic hung up the phone. He had about 28 seconds. He used 10 seconds to grab the Chaos Emerald, slap and grab The Shocker and then teleport back to Tails jet. "Sonic!" Tails yelled cheerfully.

"What bitch?" Sonic replied not at all looking to see that Tails has a bat. He tossed Daffy the Chaos Emerald just as Tails hit him with the bat.

"Bitch ass punk..." Tails said. He tossed the bat to the side and walked away. As he walked over to Willie, he overheard Luigi talking shit.

"Tails is crazy. He thinks he can beat me at Mario Kart, but I know all the secrets. I was IN the fucking game" Luigi explained.

"Fuck you bitch" Tails said

Luigi turned to stare Tails down. "I'll beat you at Kart after the mission. Expect me"

Tails nodded. He turned to Willie, "What's the ETA?"

"30 minutes. But there seems to be a lot of birds flying about" Willie replied.

"Hmmmm. I'll have to ask Daffy about this"

"You know what he'll say" Luigi chuckled.

Tails sighed, "I know..."

To Eggman lookalike,

Sonic had escaped the secret base. But what he didn't realize was, that was the plan. He, Dr. Gold, will soon obtain four Chaos Emeralds.


	10. Birds attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birds will soon attack...

Chapter Nine: Birds attack

Knuckles sat down with his team. "Everyone know the plan?"

Kill nodded, as did Vector and Mighty. But Ryan rose his hand, "Raise the roof, bitches"

Everyone nodded.

"Good. We'll soon attack one of Eggman's generals. Mr. Gold. It is highly believed that he has a Chaos Emerald. Kill and I are going in to scout. The rest of the you will remain here until phase two begins" Knuckles explained.

"Excellent. I can't wait to kill some of Robobutt's boys" Ryan cheered.

As Knuckles and Kill got out of the van, they noticed many birds in the sky. "What the fuck?" Knuckles said surprised.

Kill teleported the two of them back into the van. He than teleported the van back into Knuckles garage. "We are in danger. We MUST remain here" Kill said.

"But why?" Vector asked.

"Birds..." Kill whispered.

To Shadow,

Shadow got up and screamed, "THE BIRDS ARE HERE!"

Shadow attempted to teleport out of his cell but failed. Only because he spotted two birds. "What do you want?" He asked.

A bird hopped forward and spoke, "Fucking scum, how did you find out about our plan?"

"Fuck you bitch"

"We'll let you free and together we can kill people"

Shadow thought about it for a bit. "Smoky is still a threat, you'll have to come back later for me"

The bird nodded and flew away with his friend.

Smoky was also in the room and made his presence known, "If you had gone with them, I would have killed you right then and there"

"Shut up bitch. I'll snap your neck when I break out"

"Ha! As if. Your friend threatened me too. But I'll soon take care of him as well"

"Was it Sonic? Fuck you and fuck him!" Shadow ran to the bars in the cell and gripped them tightly, "I'LL FUCK YOU BOTH UP!!! Even that DAMN duck Daffy will get it too!"

Smoky walked away, "Keep telling yourself that"

"FUCK YOU!!!" Shadow screamed.

To Captain Gunkill,

The day that Gunkill was fearing had come to fruition. He received a call from Old man Knuckles. He had hired an assassin to kill him for taking his sweet time. Something he had expected for quite a five minutes before he got the call. But more importantly, the birds were attacking the city.

"Fuck the city" Gunkill said to himself with confidence. He would go out and kill many people.

He prepared his arsenal.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles and his group watched as the news reported various attacks happening around the city all because of birds. "We have to do something!" Knuckles yelled.

"This is nature's call. Let it happen. Rebuild the city after as a power play" Kill replied quickly.

"Fuck you bitch" Ryan said.

"What do YOU think we should do then?" Mighty asked Ryan.

"We kill birds now. Right now!" Ryan yelled.

"No" Knuckles said.

"FUCK YOU!" Ryan shouted.

"We need to wait a little longer" Knuckles continued, "Just a bit longer until something happens"

"Fine" Ryan conceited.

To Gunkill,

Gunkill burned down many birds and people in his way via a flamethrower. As he made his way downtown, he noted how some of the birds were forming a group to attack him. "FUCKING BRING IT!"

"You bastard!" One bird called out, "You'll pay for this!"

Gunkill laughed. He tossed his flamethrower to the side and pulled out a large machete. "Come"

A bird whistled and many birds pulled out their respective mêlée weapons. "To death!" The bird captain said.

"To death" the bird soldiers replied.

They flew to Gunkill to thus begin the assault.

The birds flew around Gunkill, taking turns to dive in and slash at the poor bastard. While Gunkill was able to cut down a few birds, he'd soon fall. But not by the birds hands or wings. Blocks away was a sniper who shot the killing blow.

The shot not only took out Gunkill, but also the bird captain. The bird captain's remaining soldiers fled.

Elsewhere,

High in the sky, a group of birds flew. They waited for their time to shine in this strange yet dangerous city. This was the only city that they attacked. This would be the only city they attacked due to the prophecy or some shit.

There was a hierarchy in this swirl of madness. Three birds were in charge of the attack. Two of them killed the other one via poison wine. But it failed due to them flying. The wine was taken by a homeless man, who died five minutes after receiving the wine. A cop placed a extra pistol on the dead man's corpse before firing upon it. The cop however, was stabbed to death by a group of scouting birds.

This would be yet another tragedy in this dangerous town. It wasn't long ago that the Gods attacked the city with a war whale or the war Knuckles had against the Zoo-Cats. Or the other bullshit events. People WILL die.


	11. He knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daffy, Luigi and Tails have a conversation about the 4th wall and Sonic.

Chapter Ten: He knows

Daffy had tied up The Shocker. He also took off the villain's shock gauntlets. I'd like to make a quick comment regarding this moment. I think the use of the word 'villain' is inappropriate in this situation due to the nature of the already established characters. If I may go into more details, I'd add that while Shocker was considered 'bad', the real monsters of the story would be the main cast themselves. As we travel these strange streets with a interesting assortment of scum and insane individuals, there is but only sparks of 'good' people.

But what truly is good and evil? Is it a matter of perspective? And what would be the correct balance or right choice? Good doesn't always win and evil can root itself from a common upbringing. Who is to say that your good could be someone else's evil?

But you, the reader, can go fuck yourself. Sonic awoke from his unconsciousness and looked around. "What the fuck happened to me?" 

"Shut up bitch" Daffy informed him.

Sonic thanked his friend by slamming a fist into his jaw. The two then had a friendly discussion that involved their fists. The discussion ended quickly when they realized The Shocker woke up. "Where did you take me, you damn animal!" Shocker yelled.

"Shut up bitch!" Daffy and Sonic replied.

Luigi walked into the area and added to the discussion, "We're nearly there. We will soon come into contact with our valued ally"

"Excellent work, you swine" Daffy said.

"What did you call me, bitch?" Luigi countered.

"Nothing. It's a term of endearment" 

Luigi eyed Daffy before Sonic spoke up, "I've got to go meet up with your brother. He and I are going to fight while we rescue Shadow"

"Fuck no bitch! You know we are about to commence with a mission operation soon. My brother's feud with you will have to wait" Luigi said.

Sonic wanted to stab Luigi in both eyes, turn him around and poke his butt with a fork. Shocker however, was listening in. He knew that whatever information he gained from here would be utterly useless and most likely bullshit. As the three idiots argued amongst each other, Shocker plotted his escape.

Sonic walked away from the situation and began smoking a cigar. "Fuck this shit man. How are we going to incorporated Mario back into the story? Most of the people who were with him are either dead or elsewhere. But I'm not supposed to know about this information, so I won't bring it up again unless he does"

God sent an angel to Sonic. The angel informed him that his DMs to God were inappropriate and needed to stop. But Sonic was terrified of the angel. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Sonic screamed. The others noticed and panicked as well. Angels were actually terrifying beings. Not that fluffy winged bullshit but Eldrich-like beings that should remain unknowable. Sonic wanted to kill himself to escape his mortal flesh and also this....this monster. Daffy pulled out a gun and shot at the angel. The bullet did nothing.

Sonic vowed to never DM God that tubgirl meme again. Or better yet, he would cease his talk with God.

"You only need to swear not to send those.... pictures ever again. You may speaks with God, but you must remain polite"

Sonic howled in agony in response.

The intercom came on.

"Shut the fuck up Sonic. I can hear your Dumb-ass screaming from the cockpit which should be impossible. But knowing your bitch-ass, of course you'd break reality" Tails announced.

Sonic would have made several jokes about Tails mom, how he'd drop potatoes that were dipped in honey and wrapped in leaves that were on fire in his bed and also about inflation porn. But the angel still remained a prime concern.

The angel vanished in a blinding white light causing even more panic. After which, Luigi ran and tackled Sonic. "HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO US!?" he screamed as he sent fist after fist into Sonic's jaw.

Daffy ran over to back Luigi up by kicking Sonic in the face. Shocker was amazed at how fast these idiots would turn on each other.

The intercom came on again, but it was Willie who spoke. "We are landing shortly. Prepare to meet with the contact"

"FUCK YOU!" Sonic screamed at everyone.

The fighting had stopped. "I'm going to shove this guy into a locker or something. I'll meet up with you all shortly" Daffy said as he picked up the Shocker and walked away. Tails jet wasn't actually a jet but as small space fairing vehicle with a larger interior. He used some kind of high tech space compacter or some shit to make the inside bigger, hence the 'larger interior'. As Sonic and Daffy got to the small hangar inside the spaceship, Luigi noted something. "Tails has a tech problem. He builds way too much bullshit"

"Fuck Tails. He's a bitch" Sonic replied.

Tails overheard Sonic and slammed his head into the mini air vehicle the group was about to use. The hangar could only hold two of them and each could hold up to 6 people. Sonic screamed as he fell to the floor. Luigi and Tails took this chance to kick him while he was down.

"Get up bitch" Tails said.

"Fuck you"

Tails stepped on Sonic's face. "Bitch ass punk. I'll drop you from this height then"

Luigi slammed his fist into Tails stomach causing Tails to back off. "We need him alive, you fool!" Luigi glared at Tails.

"Fine!" Tails said.

"I'm starting to think you're going to kill Sonic after Robotnik is dealt with"

Tails didn't respond.

"ANSWER ME!" Luigi howled.

Tails turned away.

Luigi prepared to attack Tails, but Daffy showed up. "Ready when you are!" He said cheerfully. He ignored the overall mood because he didn't give a fuck. He had put on Shocker's gauntlets. "Where'd you get those?" Tails asked pointing at and touching the gauntlets. Daffy slapped the shit out of him. He slapped Sonic who just got up and finally Luigi. "Shut up bitch!" Daffy yelled.

Tails threw a punch at Daffy, but the duck ducked under it and countered with a savage uppercut. Sonic flew at Daffy but wasn't able to land his tackle. He slid on the floor, stopping in front of Daffy. Luigi, however, picked up Sonic and swung him at Daffy. Tails was caught in the crossfire.

"Fuck you Luigi!" Tails yelled.

Luigi dropped Sonic and walked over to Tails, but Daffy stopped him. "Let's go start that mission! Warm up is over!"

"Stay the fuck out of this duck" Tails yelled. Sonic began to crawl away.

Daffy used the gauntlets and fired a shock-wave at Tails. Tails was knocked back. "Don't you ever tell me what to do bitch!" Daffy yelled.

"He wants to kill Sonic" Luigi announced.

"Is that so?" Daffy asked. He took a step towards Tails.

"We're going to have to settle this after Eggman is dealt with aren't we?" Daffy asked as he approached Tails. He helped the fox to his feet. "Yeah" Tails replied.

Sonic had already gotten on the air vehicle and was waiting quietly. "Good. He doesn't know" Tails said as he looked at Sonic through the window. "He knows," Daffy replied "It's just the story won't allow him to react until someone tells him. That's how you break the fourth wall... You have to already know"


	12. Cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cafe scene that we all need.

Chapter Eleven: Cafe

The group's air vehicle had landed safely on the ground. But the birds were there waiting for them. "What the fuck is this shit?" Daffy asked. One of the birds flew forward and spoke, "Shut up cunt. I'll fuck you up"  
Daffy punched the bird in the face. The other birds prepared to fly higher in the sky to dive bomb them but Luigi killed them with a fireball. Sonic pulled out salt, pepper and a block of cheese to prepare the dead bodies for a meal. Realizing this, Tails grabbed Sonic's arm, but Sonic just shrugged him off.

"BITCH!" Tails shouted towards Sonic. He tackled the hedgehog and began strangling him. Luigi punched Tails in the face. "Let go bitch" he simply stated before cocking back another fist.

Tails looked at Luigi, they stared at each other for a bit before Tails resigned and released Sonic. Sonic clocked Tails in the jaw.

While this was happening, Daffy was cutting the bird who spoke to him into tiny pieces. He had brought an axe with him to kill some people if they entered a store or anywhere with a lot of people. As they finished what they were all doing, someone approached them. "What the hell is wrong with you people?"

It was Espio. "We're here to find you" Luigi said, "It's time to take down Eggman"

"What about Off-Flower?" Espio asked.

"They can wait"

"It's good to see you again Espio" Tails said.

"What's the plan?" Espio once again asked another fucking question.

"We're going to destroy one of Robotnik's spies bases" Tails began, "We believe that he has established a network that monitors this entire town and as of such is also hiding an emerald here as well"

Daffy walked over to Tails and slapped him, "Shut up bitch"

"What the fuck Daffy?" Tails shouted

"No. Daffy is right. We shouldn't talk out here in the open. What if there are spies about?" Sonic said.

"You're right" Tails nodded. He had to admit that Sonic had a keen eye. Maybe he was wrong about him.

Daffy slammed his fist into Tails stomach and ran over and slapped Sonic, "I SAID SHUT UP BITCH!"

Sonic kneed Daffy in the stomach and then slammed a fist in his jaw. Luigi flew at Sonic and began landing hit after hit to Sonic's face. Sonic screamed as Luigi pounded him into the dirt.

Espio sighed. This what the sort of team he'd have to deal with. He didn't know if they could take down a spy network.

Tails ran at Daffy, but the duck saw him coming. Daffy fired a shock-wave at Tails, who flew over it. "FUCK YOU!"

"I'm going on ahead" Espio said. Sonic looked over to Espio, "Fuck you Espio! I'll kill your entire clan in my sleep tonight!"

Espio ignored this. Such careless threats meant nothing to him. Luigi however, had picked up a trashcan and threw it at the ninja. It slammed into him and he flew onto the ground. "Fuck you bitch. I thought we were a team. Where are you going?" Luigi demanded.

"How dare you attack me?!" Espio shouted, he pulled out a few kunai. Luigi prepared a fireball and Sonic pulled out a knife. 

"I can't wait to kick your ass, cunt!" Sonic yelled.

"What about the mission?" Espio with yet another question. He ignored the writer(which is me) and put away his kunai. "We shouldn't be fighting each other. We should just finish this mission"

"Yeah. You're right" Tails said.

"Fuck you Espio!" Sonic screamed.

The group entered a Cafe called, Louis's. While Sonic attempted to get the cashier's number, everyone discussed a plan of action. "We needed this Cafe scene. Sword Art Online is a shitty anime, but it gets the numbers. Do you know why? Cafe scenes. So let's fill up on those for awhile" Daffy said.

"Daffy. You can't have a fight scene in a Cafe" Tails said.

"Spider-man 2 did it, so why can't we?"

"But what about important information scenes?" Luigi asked.

"Three words. Sword. Art. Online. I think you're underestimating the amount of shit it has" Daffy chuckled.

"Wait. Spider-man 2 didn't have a Cafe fight scene. All that really happened was: Doctor Octopus threw a car at Spider-man. Spider-man just happened to be meeting Mary Jane at a Cafe" Espio joined in.

"Damn. I thought there was a fight scene there. But I do know some of the standard action movies have a Cafe fight scene and a regular one" Daffy pondered.

"All action movies have a Cafe scene" Luigi said.

"Not all of them" Tails interjected, "I don't remember the Long Kiss Goodnight having one"

"Me either. Then again, it's been a long time since I've seen that movie" Daffy said as he took a sip of his coffee. It was a nonfat 2% milk latte. It had 3 sugars and some ginger. Tails called Daffy a bitch after hearing about the sugars. Tails had 5 sugars in his coffee.

Sonic got the manager's number. 9-1-1. 

"Fuck you!" Sonic said. The manager punched Sonic in the face. Sonic pulled out a knife. The employees all pulled out tasers and tazed Sonic. Sonic screamed.

The group looked over to Sonic and then proceeded with their conversation. The reason why they weren't doing anything was because Tails just used his spy drones to gather up information. Sonic helped by coating the drones with special magical properties. It was of course Daffy who suggested they wait at Starbucks. But seeing how their trip to Starbucks went last time, they went to Dinney's instead.

As Sonic got his ass kicked by the staff, the group each sipped their drinks and discussed various events. "I think Knuckles might not attack Sonic after we've dealt with Eggman" Tails said.

"What makes you say that?" Luigi asked.

"More importantly, are you still going to try to kill Sonic? You literally let it be known you wished him harm in the previous chapter" Daffy quickly added.

"I didn't say shit. Besides that, I only want to beat his ass. I'm not killing him" Tails said, "He's grown on me or something"

Luigi and Daffy eyed Tails for a bit. "Is there something going on between you guys?" Espio inquired. "Knuckles and Sonic are no longer friends. Those two will try to kill each other after this whole Eggman thing" Daffy said, "I'm not too sure what Tails is planning"

"I'm not planning anything" Tails said.

Daffy reached over and slapped the fox, "SHUT UP BITCH!" Daffy yelled. Tails got up, "I'll whoop your ass, punk"

Daffy also got up, "Fuck you! Fucking bring it!" Daffy yelled again. Luigi got up as well. "Both of you should sit..... Unless you want me to break your fucking legs" Luigi pulled out a large sledgehammer.

Daffy pulled out a gun. Or was about when the waitress brought them their food. "Who the fuck ordered food?" Daffy yelled. "Fuck you bitch" Tails countered. He jabbed Daffy in the beak. Daffy jumped at Tails and the two fell to the ground.

"FUCKING SHIT!" Luigi screamed.

The waitress was terrified. Seeing this, Luigi calmed down, "Guys. Stop this" Luigi pleaded. Daffy and Tails got up, "Fine!" They both said. As they sat down, the frightened waitress put the food down. Daffy wanted to smoke a cigar but knew Luigi would attack him if he did. He looked over to the green hatted Italian man and socked him in the jaw.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Luigi howled.

"Just eat" Tails said as he took a bite from his burger. They were having burgers.

"Fuck you bitch!" Luigi said, "That black cunt attacked me!"

"Suck my balls, fucker" Daffy replied. He pretended to smoke a cigar, but it just wasn't the same. Daffy looked at Luigi, "I'm going to kick your ass for this, bitch!" Daffy yelled, waving his empty hand. His hand needed a cigar or perhaps even a boob to squeeze. Luigi responded by punching Daffy in the face, "Go jerk off in a corner or something" Luigi pointed to a corner.

"I'm going to slit your throat!" Daffy yelled yet again. He picked up his knife, Luigi got up. "I'll fuck you up" Luigi said.

"Shut the fuck up you two" Tails yelled, he took a bite from his burger. Luigi sat down and finally took a bite of his burger. The person who ordered the food made sure to ask for exactly 14 pieces of bacon on each burger. The burger also had three types of cheese, lettuce, sliced tomatoes, cut onions, pickles and two flame boiled 200% beef patties. They killed the cow twice to make this Burger. Luigi was amazed at how this burger tasted. So amazed that he decided to continue the goddamn plot. He looked over to Espio, who was eating fries. "Any news about Off-Flower?"

"I asked an old contact for help" Espio replied.

"Is it Rotor?" Tails asked

Sonic walked over to Tails and slammed the Fox's head onto the table. "It was me who ordered the burgers!" Sonic announced. He quickly bowed and added a "You're welcome sluts!" before walking off. "FUCK YOU SONIC!" Daffy yelled. He got up and ran to tackle Sonic.

Tails got up as well.

"Sit down cunt" Luigi said. "Fuck you bitch" Tails said facing Luigi, "I should fuck you up right now"

Luigi took another bite from his burger. After the bite, Luigi looked Tails in the eye, "I'll eat your Burger"

"Damn..." Tails submitted and sat back down. He continued to eat. Daffy also returned to his seat after hearing Luigi's threat. He assumed the green Italian man's threat was for all whom dared cross him. Not wanting to lose his Burger, Daffy continued his meal. His fight with Sonic would have to wait.

Seeing that the craziness had once again settled, Espio spoke up, "It was Rotor. I'm assuming he's going to call for Antoine"

"That guy? He's good" Tails wanted to order more fries. But he knew Sonic would rush over to steal them. Tails silently pulled out his glock. Luigi saw this and pulled out a 45. that he placed on the table. "What is this?" Daffy asked. He whistled for a waitress to come hither and receive his command.

"Seriously guys?" Espio asked once more with his questions. It seemed like he'd ask endless questions. Kinda like a bear who would gather berries from the great tree. The great tree use to reside in the middle of the forest, right next the biggest tree ever. It was cut down which caused the bear to look for an actual job. He applied for McDonald's and was hired on the spot. Later that day, he was fired due to attacking a customer with a knife he bought with money he stole from the cash register during lunch.

"You're right Espio. It's time we officially start this mission!" Daffy said. He got up and looked upon the group sans Sonic. "We strike at midnight"

"What exactly are you planning?" Tails asked.

"We're going to find answers the rogue way" Daffy put some dark shades on.

"And what way is that?" Espio asked.

"We're going to torture people" Daffy laughed.

"Fine by me" Tails and Luigi said.

"This will lead to trouble" Espio began, "But so be it"

"Damn straight! We do this shit bitch!" Daffy yelled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DUCK!!!" Sonic screamed as he ordered 5 milkshakes for himself.


	13. Mario Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario makes his triumphant return!

Chapter Twelve: Mario Returns

Knuckles knew that the time to act would be soon. He pulled out his phone and dialed up a number. Mario picked up the phone after one ring. "What do you want bitch?"

"Relax. It's me. Knuckles"

"Fuck you Knuckles. Fuck everyone. I'll come kick your ass"

"What's your fucking problem?"

"No one came to save me! I had to save myself"

"I didn't know you were captured"

"Fuck you. I'm half way there, prepare for an ass whooping!"

"FUCK YOU" Knuckles screamed. He threw his phone at the wall, breaking it. "What happened?" Vector asked. "Get ready" Knuckles commanded.

"Sweet! Action is coming!" Ryan yelled.

Knuckles walked to his bedroom. He took off his gloves upon entering and walked over to a black dresser. Inside it were special black spiked gloves. "Fucking Italian pizza bastard bitch..."

There was a knock on the door. "Enter"

It was Mighty. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Mario is coming to attack. But I believe these birds will attack him while he attacks us"

Mighty laughed at Knuckles. 

Knuckles turned and glared at Mighty, "Laugh all you want. There will be a fight. Go get ready"

Mighty nodded and left.

To Mario,

Mario wanted to go alone. His servants didn't like that. They also didn't like that he was essentially going to attack his allies yet again. There were far larger and actual enemies that needed to be dealt with. Dr. Robtonik, Yogi Bear, Off-Flower, and perhaps even Bowser. But Mario was undeterred.

Five of his maids gathered together. "We are prepared to follow you anywhere"

Mario nodded at his maids. The six of them, along with the Butler and the Driver soon after left the mansion. Outside they discovered the amount of damage the birds were causing to the city. The swarms were like dark clouds assaulting the ground below with the fury of nature itself. A blade in a claw and a sharp beak was all these winged beats needed.

"Master Mario, might I remind of the blue hedgehog's earlier challenge?" the Butler asked.

Mario pondered this as his group's vehicle ventured into the city. Knuckles house was located on the other side of the city. Mario figured he'd just drive through it, as he saw going around would be a waste of his time. "Sonic can wait. His bullshit revealed that Tails has been found. It's time for action. I'm going to get to Knuckles and we are going to attack that Eggman guy"

"I see. So you aren't going to fight the red Echidna?"

"No. That's just how we talk to each other"

A few birds landed on the roof of the limo. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Mario screamed.

A bird leaned over and looked through the window, "Shut up bitch"

Mario rolled down the window and killed the bird with a fireball. "What the fuck is this shit? Pull us over!" Mario ordered.

The Driver quickly pulled over into a KFC. "Fuuuuuuuck" Mario grumbled. Now the birds were going to be extra crispy pissed the fuck off. Mario and one of his maids who was called Amy, hopped out of the car.

"The fuck you want bitch?" A bird called out to Mario.

"Fuck off my car cunt" Mario threatened as he pulled out a pocket knife. The birds didn't have any pockets. There were six of them, although two of them killed themselves due to lack of pockets. "Shit man...." One bird spoke up, "You got us there motherfucker"

Mario spat on the ground. Amy revealed her weapon, a large double bladed Axe. Everyone whistled, "That's a beauty. I want that to kill me right now!" A foolish bird said as it flew over to its death. Amy cut the bird right in half. "Fuck you bitch!" The bird squad leader said.

Just then, a cloud of birds became apparent that it had floated to the point above the action that was now. The action which was now was the action in which Mario himself participated in currently. "Holy shit!" Mario and the bird squad leader yelled. The bird's two companions killed themselves in an attempt to escape this nightmarish reality that we call life. They had forgotten that the bird cloud was on their side. Mario offered the bird squad leader, whom I'll call BSL, a ciggerate. "Uh... Thanks" BSL said. He lit it and took a long puff. "Fuck, this shit feels good" even though poison murder clouds would soon greet his lungs. Do birds have lungs or do they absorb energy from the sun liked I do? It was unclear forever.

To Sonic,

Sonic wanted to go to the cinemas and strangle the movie goers. Daffy knew about this and punched Sonic in the stomach. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" Daffy screamed in Sonic's ear. Sonic screamed louder, slammed his fist in Daffy's face and passed out.

While this happened, Tails and Luigi were in an alley. While Tails was keeping an eye out for trouble, Luigi snorted sugar pixie dust. Upon realizing he didn't like it, he began setting's boxes on fire. "Fuck this shit, man!" Luigi yelled.

"Dude...." Tails began.

Luigi walked over to speak to Tails only to discover..... God had descended on to the earth. "Behold for it is I" God announced.

"Fuck you Bitch" Tails said as he was a scientist.

God ignored the insult. Tails pulled out a knife.

"Wait.... Where's Espio?" Luigi asked. But no one responded.


	14. Shadow's escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Shadow to return to the story. It's time for him to escape.

Chapter Thirteen: Shadow's escape

Shadow's boys wanted him out of the place he was currently breathing and existing in. And they wanted him now. One of the boys called up Sonic.

"Who the fuck is this?" Sonic demanded to know 

"Fuck you bitch. Where's Shadow?"

"Fuck Shadow and fuck dead Rouge" Sonic yelled.

On the other end, Daffy punched Sonic in the stomach.

"Fine... I've got nothing going on until midnight. Where are you?" Sonic asked.

To God,

I, your God, have interrupted the story to inform the readers that the writer is a fool. Thou shalt fall before Me and pronounce himself defeated. All who dare test the might of God the Almighty, shall be vanquished.

So says I!

To Shadow,

Shadow wanted a gun to be in his pocket. He saw that the bagman was back. As the bagman walked into view, Shadow noted bagman was called bagman due to the bag on his head and not because he was a bitch like Shadow first assumed.

Shadow really wanted a cigar. He could just breakout of his imprisonment, but the government would find out and fuck him. He didn't like the government nor did he like the Anti-government, terrorist or wearing slacks on Wednesdays. 

"Fuck this shit" Shadow muttered to himself. 

He decided to stare at the bagman while masterubating ferociously but realized the bagman was pointing at him. "What the fuck" Shadow muttered yet again.

The birds had returned.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Shadow screamed.

"Listen, we're here to make a deal with you" a bird said. It climbed into the cell. "I'm listening" Shadow replied as he folded his arms in all his edgy glory. Linkin Park "In the end" starts playing as the camera repeatedly zooms in and out of Shadow's face. But this happened in black and white, Shadow's eyes are glowing red and an angry face emoji rests in the bottom two corners of the screen. There's a tag-line:

\------ "Where are those DAMN Chaos Emeralds?"-------

"What the fuck is this shit?" The bird asked.

An eye brow on Shadow's face rose a bit.

"Never mind" the bird continued, "Listen, I need you to kill the mayor"

"Fuck you bitch" Shadow responded, "I'll kill you, shove your corpse up my ass and shit you out tomorrow"

"Fuck this guy. We can kill the mayor ourselves!" An outside bird said. The bird inside pulled out a gun and killed the disrespectful little bitch ass motherfucking cunt ass bird traitorous scumbag fuck face ass bitch. They could not kill the mayor, only Shadow could. The bird higher ups wanted this. Even if they tried to assassinate each other, they knew the power Shadow had.

"Do it Shadow and you'll be free" the bird urged, "Do it for I am Nazuun. I have only said my name because the writer wanted a clear difference between me and the other birds. No other reason"

"Fine. I'll do it" Shadow said.

"No you won't" Smoky the bear chimed in.

"Fuck you bitch!" Shadow yelled, "If I had my phone I'd call my boys on you"

"But you don't! I do" Smoky yelled triumphantly.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Shadow screamed, "Don't call my boys on me...." Shadow had at this point fallen to the ground, defeated.

"That's right bitch!" Smoky walked over to the cell, unlocked it and went in to slap Shadow.

"I'll kill you!" Nazuun yelled. He fired his gun at Smoky. But the bear was too quick and dodged that shit. He snapped Nazuun's neck. 

"No!" The birds outside all cried and flew away. Shadow knew they'd be back.

To Tails,

Tails called Daffy's secret girlfriend. She went back to being unnamed because I'm too lazy to go back and check to see if I named her yet. Don't worry as I'll remove this part in the editing process of writing this story chapter as I have that power.

"My name is Lena" Daffy's secret girlfriend explained to the writer.

Fuck you bitch. Anyway, Tails called Lena in an attempt to sell her things so he could have pocket money for snacks.

"Do you want to buy some stuff from a real scientist?" Tails asked.

"No thanks. Who gave you this number?" Lena asked

"God" Tails said.

"What?" 

"Fine. God's a bitch anyway. I got the number from Daffy. I took his phone to try to scam people from China but decided to go through his contacts. I saw your number and decided to memorize it and call you"

"Well.... I'll just have to talk to that boyfriend of mine"

"Fuck that bitch ass punk! I'll whoop his ass"

Tails hung up. He turned back to Luigi and....... God.

"Fuck you bitch!" Tails yelled at God.

To Sonic,

Sonic had used the Chaos Emerald he stole from Mr. Gold to teleport him and Daffy to the park. There they met up with Shadow's boys. "We're here" Sonic yelled.

One of Shadow's boy, someone calling himself S-Dog, punched Sonic in the face.

Daffy jumped back and yelled "I knew this was a trap!"

"Fuck you bitch!" Boy Dark yelled. Another of Shadow's boys, "I'll fuck you up"

Boy Dark pulled out a knife, Daffy pulled out a grenade. "I'll kill everyone here!"

"Do it Daffy!" Sonic cried out as he dodged a blow from S-Dog. "Fuck you bitch! We want our boss back" S-Dog said.

"Why are you attacking us?" Daffy asked.

"Not sure. But we have to rap right now!" Dogz Breath said.

"Shut up Dogz Breath" S-Dog whispered into the ground.

"What the fuck is this shit? Let's just go get Shadow.....NOW!!!!!!!" Sonic yelled. Everyone agreed and nodded ferociously. One of the boys pulled out a gun and fired it in the air. A nearby park ranger heard and went to investigate. "What's going on here?" He asked.

Daffy disappeared into the shadows just as Boy Dark pulled out a dagger and flung it at the ranger. The ranger's neck was impaled by the dagger and he fell to the floor to bleed out. Sonic walked over to the body with a drawn gun and shot the dying man in the head. "Bitch" Sonic said.

He looked back at Shadow's boys, "Alright people! Let's get the fucking move on and save Shadow!" Sonic yelled.

There were 79 people gathered for this assault on the park. S-Dog and Boy Dark were top people in Shadow's gang of people with fucking ridiculously stupid names. "Fuck you bitch!" S-Dog said as he got into Sonic's face, "I'll fucking slam your head into that tree over there" he pointed at a purple tree. The tree dropped red bananas and green apples sweeter than the sweetest of all candies. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE! I AM YOUR MESSIAH SENT HERE TO SAVE YOUR LEADER!!!!" Sonic shouted. He slapped S-Dog and ran over to Boy Dark and slapped him too.

"Bitch ass punk..." Boy Dark said while wiping his face with both hands to appear weaken when in reality he was enraged. He wanted Sonic to die but couldn't confront him until after Shadow was rescued.

Sonic pulled out a couple of wine bottles from a pocket dimensional rift in the reality. He drank a full one to himself before a couple of the boys took them by force. "YOU BASTARDS!" Sonic shouted.

To Daffy,

Daffy had arrived at the park ranger's office. Inside was Ranger Smith from Jellystone park. "What the fuck are you doing here bitch?" Daffy yelled. The park office went quiet. "Why are you here Daffy?" Ranger Smith asked.

"Fuck you bitch!"

Ranger Smith sighed. "Look, whatever it is.... Just leave"

"No! You can't make me! His boys are on their way right this moment! They are clearing the pass as we speak!" Daffy yelled.

"Who's boys?" a random ranger asked.

"SHADOW'S!" Daffy waved his arms around frantically, "SHADOW THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG"

Ranger Smith looked around the office, "You're keeping Shadow the hedgehog locked up here at the park knowing full well he's a leader of a gang that's more than willing to burn everything down to free him?"

No one answered that question.

"I've got to start looking for a new job. Everything is going to shit. First Yogi and now this..." 

"What are we going to do about Shadow's boys?" Another ranger asked.

"Who captured Shadow the first time?"

"Smoky the bear and his elf group. There were a total of 20 or so members. We have here currently a staff of 15. But it was that duck over there who knocked Shadow out" a ranger explained.

"Smoky?!" Ranger Smith blurted out. "Goddamn-it..." He face palmed and turned to face Daffy, "Is it just his 'boys' or are there more people?"

"Sonic's with them and he's got a Chaos Emerald with him" Daffy explained.

"I guess we have no choice but to go on the defensive" Ranger Smith said.

"Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled. He ran and punched Ranger Smith in the face.

To Shadow,

The bagman was still there.... Watching.

"Who the fuck are you?" Smoky asked.

Bagman said nothing.

Smoky walked over to the cell window. Shadow would have taken this chance to attack the bear, but curiosity won him over. "Who is that man?" Shadow asked.

"I'm not sure. This is the first time I've ever seen him"

"Well he's shown up at my cell windows a few times. I thought he might of been an enemy to the park"

"Perhaps... We'll ignore him for now. Although I'm surprised you haven't attempted to escape nor have you attacked me"

Shadow folded his arms, "It's because my boys are on their way here. I can feel it in my balls. Go check with your staff. My boys are coming for me"

Smoky rubbed his chin. After locking Shadow's cell, he left without a word.

"Bitch" Shadow said

Shadow turned to the bagman. "Who the fuck are you?"

Bagman still said nothing.

Shadow stared as the bagman picked up a piece of cheese and began ripping off chunks of it. Shadow didn't have any crackers, Ham or butter to help with the process that the bagman was going through. What was he going to do? Nothing.

To Sonic,

Sonic and the boys slowly crept up on the ranger's office rather quickly. They were surprised that they were able to get to the place so fast. But outside the office were the elves and Smoky the bear. Beside him were a few rangers, Daffy and possibly Lena and Ranger Smith.

"You're late!" Smoky announced.

"Fuck you bitch" Sonic said, "You know why we're here"

"You're not going to win this time Sonic" Daffy said as he walked to stand beside Smoky, along with Ranger Smith and Lena.

"I'll fuck you up bitch!" Sonic yelled.

S-Dog pushed Sonic out of the way, "Fuck this shit. We're here to free our boss and kill everyone here!"

"I'll strangle your parents and your grandparents!" Daffy yelled.

"Shut the fuck up duck. I can't wait to fuck your dead corpse!" Dogz Breath yelled as he slapped his groin.

"Look. We can just give you him. We'll give you Shadow if you promise to leave!" Ranger Smith pleaded. Smoky walked over to Ranger Smith and punched him in the face.

Smith took a step back. "BASTARD! You will be reported!"

"Shut the fuck up Smith. The hedgehog stays locked here!" Smoky yelled, he turned to address his small army, "Let's kill these fools!"

Lena pulled Smith and Daffy away from Smoky, "We gotta go!"

"Where you going Duck!" Dogz Breath yelled. He began to charge forward. Seeing this, Smokey's force surged forward. Shadow's boys also charged and the battle began.

Sonic flew at Smoky yelling, "I'll fuck you up bitch!"

Lena managed to get Ranger Smith safely inside the office building. Daffy had begun his fight with Dogz Breath.

Shadow's boys were quickly overtaking the elves and rangers. S-Dog beheaded an elf with a saw blade. He began to rub the decapitated head against his butt.

Sonic's fight with Smoky was going bad. As Sonic barely dodged a fierce punch. "Shit... How strong are you?" Sonic asked. "I'm far above you. Fast" Smoky laughed. He floated into the sky as his muscles grew bigger. His shirt exploded into a thousand pieces of dirt. "BEHOLD MY POWER AS A BARBONE" Smoky announced. 

Sonic noted that he could not possibly stand up to such power, even if he had 3 Emeralds. He only had 1 and Tails had the other 3.

"Damn-it!" Sonic yelled.

Dogz Breath tackled Daffy and began to bite him. With his arms pinned, he had only one thing he could do.

To die.

But with Smokey's strange transformation, Dogz Breath was momentarily distracted. This gave Daffy the chance to free a arm, pull out his gun and kill the fool who dared to bite him. "Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled as he shot and killed Dogz Breath. Now I don't have to write this stupid name anymore. 

Sonic stared up at Smoky and his vast power. S-Dog ran and slapped Sonic like a bitch. "Fuck you punk! Now we gonna die!"

Sonic slammed his fist into S-Dog's stomach. "Shut up bitch!"

The two then turned to Smoky who was still powering up. Shadow's boys had by then taken out the rangers and elves but suffered heavy causalities. 29 people from the gang died. This included Dogz Breath.

Smoky had noted this and hovered his hand in the direction of Boy Dark. "Oh no...." Boy Dark whispered as his head exploded. "Shit..." Sonic said.

Daffy knew his group had won. Soon Sonic and Shadow's boys would be dead. But this would not be a good thing. Daffy took a step forward to drastically change sides yet again. He knew his secret girlfriend would approve as Smoky got the rangers from this park all killed. He looked over to Sonic and called out, "Sonic! Burn down the forest!"

Sonic looked over to Daffy, pulled out a lighter and nodded.

As Sonic ran into the forest, Smoky flew at Daffy and began to strangle him. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS DUCK!"

S-Dog and Shadow's boys all charged at Smoky. Some fired guns at Smoky, but the bullets bounced off him. Smoky threw Daffy at S-Dog as he began to contend with the remaining fools.

S-Dog pushed Daffy off of him. "Don't worry double agent, our drop planes will drop fire bombs on the forest. We'll kill the nature with our power!"

Shadow's boys numbered in the low thousands. 3 thousand to be exact. Being connected to the government, he was given certain special gifts and his own land. Technically, Smoky was breaking the law by keeping Shadow prisoner.

Soon the sounds of planes filled the air. 20 planes in total dropped sixteen bombs each that covered the area with fire. "YOU!!!!!" Smoky yelled.

Smoky flew up and destroyed half of them.

Sonic came back to the scene as he didn't want to fucking die. "How are we going to kill him?"

Lena and Ranger Smith exited the park office with Shadow and bagman. They entered the conversation, "We don't. Let's get the fuck out of here!" Shadow yelled.

Sonic revealed his Chaos Emerald. The remaining boys, Lena, Smith, Daffy, bagman and Shadow all bunched together allowing Sonic to teleport them away. Just as this happened, the remaining planes crashed into Smoky and the office which thus distracted him long enough to allow an escape to happen.


	15. Eggman Cometh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More trouble arrives in the form of Dr. Robotnik himself.

Chapter Fourteen: Eggman cometh

A cloud of birds hovered above Mario and his group. Some sentry birds flew into view. "Fuck you fat plumber!" A sentry said.

"What the fuck bitch? How did you know I was a plumber?"

A super Mario Bros game was thrown at Mario, he caught it and looked. He broke the game in half. "Fuck this game" Mario pulled out Mario Bros Super Jumper Saga and tossed that shit up high. A sentry quickly flew and caught it. It plugged the game to its device.

"I'll try it out" the sentry said as it flew away.

DSL watched as he knew the bird cloud would strike. Mario prepared to charge up his fireball to kill the cloud. A sentry shot a ball of energy at Mario, causing the plumber to waste his fireball for defense. A maid named Alex pulled out twin pistols and fired upon the bird cloud, the butler used dark magic to shoot a beam of darkness from his palm at the sentries in a sweeping motion. A few of the sentries failed to put up magical shields in time and died as a result. A few birds from the cloud fell dead, the lifeless bodies falling on the streets below. Another maid named Angela fired arrows at the cloud. The sentries have had enough and began their attack. 

The butler summoned skeleton warriors to help battle the sentries. Amy led the last two maids for ground combat. She would suggest that boots on the ground is the best way to go.

The dive bombing sentries devastated most of the skeleton warriors as they were lesser beings. But the Butler knew this would happen. He took this opportunity to summon a death ball inside of the bird cloud. All the birds in the center died instantly which forced the outer birds to break apart.

"Bastards!" A sentry yelled.

Mario shot and killed the bird who spoke. He also shot a bystander who was fleeing from another sentry bird. As the innocent bystander was stabbed to death by the sentry, Mario looked on with approval before deciding to finish off the anticlimactic mini boss known only as "The Bird Cloud". The plumber fired a series of consecutive fireballs at the fleeing birds and eradicated them from the earth. None shall flee this battle. Nine.

As the sentry slit the bystander's throat, Mario gave a cheer, " KILL ALL! "

Amy and the two other maids nodded and began attacking any fleeing citizens. After finishing off the other sentries, he once again summoned skeleton warriors. But this time they were stronger. They began to attack the city.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles and his group were ready. As they piled into the van and left the garage, Knuckles noticed something. High in the sky were many many bird clouds. They had increased their numbers by 300%.

"Oh shit!" Knuckles yelled.

Ryan pokes his head out of the window, "what is it?"

Ryan sees what happened. The birds were gaining in numbers. "Kill... Can you do something about this? Can you kill half?" Ryan asked.

Kill leaves the van and thus caused the death of 15 MegaClouds. Knuckles also left the van to witness the results. As countless bird corpses fall to the ground, Knuckles has become very aware of the mistake that was made.

"WE GOT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Knuckles screamed as he rushed to his van. Kill just teleported them all, including the van, to a different area.

But it was in the sky.... So they fell.

To Mario,

As the skeleton warriors, the Butler, Amy and the two other maids attacked literally everything, Angela decided to enact her secret plan. She entered the KFC with Mario and the Driver. They looked around before discovering that Yogi there. But they completely ignored that fact. Mario ordered 25 buckets of fried chicken. Mixing both original and extra crispy chicken. With the tubs of chicken came macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy, coleslaw and corn. Biscuits as well.

Yogi was eyeing them the whole time they were there, but he said nothing. Angela noted the bear being there but said nothing also. The secret turned out to be that there wasn't one.  
As Mario rubbed his hands together, Yogi approached him. "Hey hey hey, what's in that picnic basket?" the bear asked.

Mario flipped him the bird. Yogi didn't like this and grabbed Mario, "Listen here! I'll kill you!!" Yogi yelled. Yogi pulled out a cigar and smacked Mario across the face with it. "What the fuck bitch?" Mario yelled.  
Angela threw throwing knives that impaled into Yogi's back. Noting that, Yogi threw Mario, pulled out a Chaos Emerald and teleported out of there.

"Who the fuck?" Mario shouted as the Driver helped him up.

KFC gave Mario a free bucket of popcorn chicken to make up for the attack. "He just showed up one day" an employee said about the demented bear.

"Fucking shit" Mario said.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles group had been teleported to the middle of the city. There skeleton warriors and 3 of Mario's maids were killing many birds and people. One maid was throwing energy spears at a few bird clouds. The clouds were firing back with razor sharp feathers, but it was being repelled by another maid using a katana.

"What the fuck?" Ryan yelled.

The Butler noticed the group and walked over to greet them but stopped when he saw Kill. Knuckles, Vector and Mighty went to greet the Butler, but he was unresponsive.

"Who has done this?" the Butler asks Knuckles.

"Who? Kill? I think he said Sonic summoned him" Knuckles explained.

The Butler glares at Knuckles, "Then he must be dealt with"

Knuckles glares back and nods, "After Eggman"

"After Eggman" the Butler repeats.

To Sonic,

Sonic senses a disturbance in the universe. He knew he would soon have to gather a new group of dark followers.

Soon....

To Mario,

Mario exited the KFC with the food along with Angela and the Driver. He noticed that Knuckles was here with his group. Knuckles spotted Mario as well and called out to him, "Mario!"

Mario and his two companions made it over to the spike fisted fighter, "About time bitch"

"I knew the birds were going to attack you, so I decided to come help"

"Fuck your help... Wait! Is that Ryan? I saw that bitch-ass punk Count Mack not too long ago"

"Who? Wait... Was that guy from that time when Sonic made that stupid watch group that failed immediately after being made?" Knuckles asked.

Mario nodded, "Yes, but it didn't fail right away. Although we were more like a local militia than a neighborhood watch group"

Mighty joined the conversation, "Kill and that Butler guy caused the birds in this area to flee"

Knuckles smiled, "Good. Then maybe we'll be able to attack Eggman after all. I don't want to waste my time with this bird bullshit"

Ryan ran over and slapped Knuckles, "Fuck you bitch!"

Mario quickly punched Ryan in the face. Ryan punched Mario back with equal fury.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Knuckles roared, he also punched Ryan in the face. Ryan fell back. "Fucking piece of filthy!" Mario yelled, he picked up Ryan and threw him. Ryan's body collided with Vector.

"Hey!" Vector yelled. "Fuck you bitch!" Mario replied.

Ryan quickly got up and prepared to charge at Mario and Knuckles. "I'll fuck you up" Ryan yelled.

Mario threw fireballs at Ryan, who was thus dodging them. Knuckles had had enough, he ran at Ryan and tackled him. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" Knuckles yelled.

Ryan spat in Knuckles face and was rewarded with a fist to the face. "Knock it the fuck off or else" Knuckles threatened. "Suck my dick, slut" Ryan responded.

Before Knuckles could punch Ryan again, a loud noise was heard. In the sky was the Death Egg!

"Shit...." Knuckles said.

Ryan head-butted Knuckles and escaped.

"MOTHERFUCKER!!!" Knuckles screamed.

"We'll get his bitch ass later.... For now...." Mario began as he walked over to Knuckles side. The two of them looked up at the large egg shaped mustached floating base. It seemed as though many small objects were being set lose from the base.

"We better leave this area and fast!" Mighty yelled. He was looking through binoculars.

"Why? What's going on?" Vector asked.

"Eggman is sending out some jet fighters...." Mighty reported.

But as soon as he said that, large ships had flown up next to the larger Death Egg base and began open firing upon the city. Bird clouds also began to swarm near the ships.

"SHIT! KILL! GET US OUT OF HERE!" Knuckles yelled.

Kill teleported Knuckles and Mario's groups to Kill's house, along with the van, limo and food Mario had bought from KFC.

"Shit..." Mario said, "Fucking shit!"

"This is bad.... What are we going to do now?" Vector asked.

"I.... Don't know" Knuckles said.

"Are the birds being controlled by Eggman?" Mighty asked.

To the birds,

Robotnik's fighter jets and Armada were shooting down the bird clouds at a really fast speed. Robotnik knew they would be an distraction he did not need.

As the remaining bird army began to flee, the bird leaders decided to kill themselves by drinking poison. All except for one.....DSL.

To Knuckles,

Kill spokes up, "No. Eggman is killing them as we speak"

Mabel opened the front door, seeing as her new husband, a group of strange individuals, a van, a limo and a few tubs of KFC appeared on her driveway. "What's... Going on?" Mabel asked.

"Worry not. I have returned" Kill greeted as it floated to Mabel.

"Uuuh what the fuck is going on?" Mighty asked.

"I guess Kill got married" Knuckles replied.

"These are my friends and I have invited them over to hide from our enemies as we plot"

Kill explained. "More enemies? How many do you have?" Mabel asked. Kill had to think about it, yet was unable to answer. It simply replied with "undetermined" The Butler was staring at Kill.

Mabel and Kill soon invited Knuckles and Mario's group inside the house.

To Ryan,

Ryan had managed to get to the sewers just as a bomber plane dropped its payload unto the streets below. Goddamn this city. Ryan knew he'd have to be quick in order to escape Eggman's wrath if he ever wanted to survive. He also had to report to his leaders about what was going on. Off-Flower had always had a way of monitoring its enemies.


	16. Shocking Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A character returns. Yes. Another return. Aren't you fucking surprised? verily I'm sure...

Chapter Fifteen: Shocking Surprise

Espio had contacted Antoine and the two had successfully infiltrated what they assumed was a Eggman Spy network stronghold. Or rather, the 'Eggworks'. As the two made their way deeper into the facility, Espio received a message from Sonic,

"Espio. We have successfully rescued Shadow from the park. Although we may have a powerful enemy coming our way. We might be able to use him to our advantage should we get cornered tonight - - Sonic"

"Hmm... He might be smarter than I originally thought" Espio said to himself, "Who?" Antoine questioned, "No one" Espio smirked in response.

To Sonic,

Sonic and the group were teleported to in front of the diner. Overall, 27 of Shadow's boys were alive. But that was a drop in the bucket. There were still over 2 thousand members left.

"Holy shit! We survived!" Sonic cheered.

"Fuck that place!" Shadow shouted.

The bagman said nothing and quietly made his exit.

"What do we do now?" Daffy asked.

"I'm suppose to arrest you all for breaking the law and for being environmental terrorists. But I'll let it slide since I want to live" Ranger Smith said.

"Fuck you bitch" Sonic said.

"Lena, are you going to come with me to Jellystone?" Ranger Smith asked.

"I'll catch up later. I want to spend some time here with my crazy boyfriend" Lena explained. She was holding hands with Daffy. Ranger Smith nodded and walked off. "Now that I'm free, I can take my revenge on Yogi" Shadow announced.

"Fuck Yogi and fuck dead Goofy" Sonic said.

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT GOOFY!" Shadow shouted in Sonic's face. Sonic slapped Shadow like a bitch. "Shut the fuck up" Sonic said. S-Dog punched Sonic in the stomach, "Suck my boss's balls, cunt!"

"Fucking bitch!" Daffy yelled.

"Fuck you duck!" S-dog yelled. He pulled out a knife.

Tails walked over with Luigi, both of them had shotguns, "This shit is over" Tails announced.

"Tails!" Shadow shouted, "Let me slap you in the face with my dick, you fucking whore!"

"The fuck you say?" Tails asked.

"Good to see you two" Shadow surprisingly said.

"Uh.... Thanks" Luigi said.

"How did it happen? How did you get out?" Tails asked.

"Birds" Shadow said.

The group had decided to cancel the mission until Sonic spoke up, "Eggman is attacking our city"

"Oh shit. Sonic! What about your roommate?" Daffy yelled.

"She's visiting her parents out of state" Sonic shrugged.

"Wow... Anticlimactic" Shadow said.

"Fuck you bitch" Sonic glared at Shadow as he crossed his arms.

To Espio,

Espio and Antoine had entered a computer room. Inside they quickly activated a PC and hacked their way online only to discover that there was no Eggworks. It wasn't a trap, more or less a means to waste the time of any pursuers. Although, it did inform Eggman of the goings on within the city. It appeared that this location was one of a few. The other locations functioned as a information hub. Receiving much of it's information from this facility and a few others. So in a sense there was an Eggworks, it just wasn't in the form they were expecting. And to destroy it completely would take longer than expected and be a lot more complicated. "Damn-it!" Espio said as he slammed his hands on the keyboard. "Hmmm... It appears zat our friends are in quite ze bind" Antoine said. He pointed at a surveillance feed of Sonic and the group.

"I don't understand...." Espio replied.

The view switched to another feed showing a white duck and several robotic fighters on the way towards Sonic.

"Shit! We better get back!" Espio said.

"Agreed" Antoine replied. Before leaving the room, Antoine picked up a folder labeled 'New energy source possibility'

Espio nodded at him and they made their escape.

To Sonic,

"You're a bitch!" Sonic yelled at Shadow, but S-dog had stood in the way. "Fuck off, cunt!" S-dog said.

Sonic slammed a fist into S-dog's face. Shadow tackled Sonic and began beating him senselessly. Daffy ran over and kicked Shadow in the face. S-dog pulled out a bat and slammed that shit against the side of Daffy's head. Lena pulled out a tazer and tazed the shit out of S-dog.

"Fuck you bitch!" S-dog yelled as he swung at Lena via bat. While Lena dodged the swings, another of Shadow's boys kicked her in the back. Daffy flew at that boy and landed a solid blow to the face. Tails fired a shot in the air and the fighting stopped.

"The fuck you want bitch?" Sonic and Shadow yelled as they both helped each other up.

"We're on a deadline here!" Tails yelled back.

"Let me guess.... You want my boys to man your ship?" Shadow asked.

"Uh I didn't mean that-" Tails was interrupted.

"Yeah, we'll do it" S-dog said.

"Fine by me" Daffy said.

Lena agreed as well. She was used to all the infighting that Daffy's group of friends were subjected to. He'd talk about these events all the time.

Sonic nodded as well. He agreed with it but didn't care. He just wanted to jack off to pictures of the black plague. He enjoyed to pleasure himself to pictures depicting the cruel and inhuman acts the plague doctors would disguise as medical practices upon dying victims. He wish he could hear their screams. To see the decaying flesh and the beggars. Oh how they would be born just to die in a puddle of shit. Those lesser beings, Sonic wished he could stab repeatedly at such lower lifeforms. None of them deserved to be alive. Not in Sonic's world. He was glad that the plague would wipe their kind from the face of the earth. Sonic also thought about how cool it'd be to fuck with the Gods by giving gold to some of these beggars. Not the cheap one chopper coin or two but rather 2 thousand gold coins. Get them rich to piss in the face of the Nobles.

Rags to riches, bitch.

Sonic began to rub his belly but Luigi slapped the shit out of him. "Wake up to reality!" Luigi said.

"Fuck you meatball!" Sonic yelled.

Luigi let that comment slide.

"Sonic, are you going to let your whore talk to you that way?" Shadow said directly in Sonic's face. Sonic just slapped him again.

"What did you call me, bitch?" Luigi yelled. "I'll fuck you up green guy!" Shadow yelled back.

Shadow stopped and sniffed the air. "Is someone smoking a cigar?"

He frantically looked around but was interrupted.

Sonic and Luigi took turns slapping Shadow. S-dog tackled Sonic, "FUCKING SCUM!" He yelled as he landed punch after punch on Sonic. Luigi kicked S-dog in the face but was soon tackled by another one of Shadow's boys.

Daffy ran at Shadow but was tackled by more of Shadow's boys. Lena quickly rushed to boyfriend's aid.

"Where is it?" Shadow asked.

He continued to look around.

"WHERE IS THAT CIGAR!?" Shadow screamed.

Donald Duck walked into view leading a robotic army whilst smoking a cigar. He made eye contact with Shadow, "Shut the fuck up bitch"

"Who the fuck...?" Shadow began but was cut off by a familiar voice.

"You better listen to him bitch. I'll whoop your ass" Goofy said. Everyone immediately stopped fighting after hearing this.

"GOOFY!?" Luigi, Tails and Daffy all yelled. Shadow face twisted in hatred at the sight of the dog being alive. But Sonic was the first to voice his opinion on the matter.

"Fuck you Goofy! I'll fucking make sure you die this time!" Sonic yelled. Shadow couldn't help but smile at such a powerful statement.

Goofy gave Sonic the finger.


	17. Dark Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of the third Act will end in violence and betrayal. Anger and hatred is the currency we will all deal in.

Chapter Sixteen: Dark Victory

Donald looked at Sonic, "Is that how you talk to your friends?"

"FUCK YOU!" Sonic screamed, "I'll rip your throat out and wrap it around my dick!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Goofy asked, "Aren't you at all curious how I'm still alive?" 

Sonic took the tiny pebbles that were in his shoe and threw them at Goofy. While they didn't do any damage to Goofy, it was the thought that counted. A big fuck you. Goofy sighed before walking over to Sonic. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING BITCH?" Sonic asked as he jumped back from an advancing Goofy. Goofy rushed forward and slammed his fist into Sonic's jaw. Sonic tried to swing at Goofy but his attack was blocked by Donald. Donald shoved his cigar into Sonic's eye causing the blue hedgehog to scream in pain. Shadow tackled Sonic and removed the cigar. He attempted to smoke said cigar but kicked Sonic in the face when it wouldn't light.

"Fuck you Sonic!" Shadow yelled.

"Shadow! No!" Tails yelled.

S-dog ran at Tails and slapped him, "Shut up bitch"

Luigi and Daffy ran at Goofy to attack, S-dog attempted to strangle Tails but was hit in the face by the butt of Tails rifle. "The fuck is wrong with you?" Tails asked.

"Your allies are cunts" Donald said. Daffy paused, but Luigi performed a large backflip so he could restart his charge towards Goofy. Daffy turned towards the other duck.

"Shut the fuck up Sailor bitch. Go eat a bag of sea cocks" Daffy said.

Donald eyed Daffy closely. "Say that to my face, you burnt slut!" Donald replied. Daffy took a step towards Donald.

"Fuck you bitch. I'll rub cocaine all over your body, set your feathers on fire and feed you to the Yoga teachers and vegans for Thanksgiving" Shadow shouted, patting Daffy on the back. The two nodded at each other.

"What? That doesn't make any sense. Why are you doing this?" Sonic asked as he rubbed his eye. Sonic pulled out a potion and drank it really fast. "Fuck this shit man"

"Oh yeah? Well you'll love this one, you fucking edge-lord. I'll shove baby powder up your ass, I'll shove a diaper down your throat, then I'll make the baby cry by punching you in the gut" Goofy countered.

"Fuck you bitch!" Shadow yelled.

One of Shadow's boys spoke up, "He'll call us on you, bitch!"

Luigi halted his really long charge and looked at Goofy, "I'll go murder Max in his sleep and send you his dick in the mail. The rest of him will be in my body"

Donald had tackled Daffy, thus their fight began. But Goofy..... Was pissed.

"Don't you dare..." He began.

"Where's your wife Goofy?" Luigi asked.

Sonic thought he caught on to what was going on and pushed the envelope further, "Let's dig up his wife's corpse and take turns fucking it. Maybe we can fill the head up with so much cum, we'd have to use Tupperware to send it to him"

"HOW DARE YOU HEDGEHOG!?" Goofy screamed.

"You know guys...." Lena began, "If Goofy's wife was a dog too, she's legally a bitch"

"Wait. Did Goofy fuck Pluto?" Sonic asked.

Goofy had enough. He ordered the robots to attack.

Shadow ordered his boys to attack. One of Shadow's new captains: Darkness Lad, ordered a firebomb air strike.

Shadow would have to remember to get Sonic to suck off Darkness Lad later. Sonic read that sentence and punched Shadow in the balls. "Fuck you!" Sonic yelled.

To Kill,

Knuckles decided to form a few teams. He, Mario, Amy and the Butler would be team A

Mighty, Vector and Kill would be team B.

The rest of the maids and the Driver would be team C.

Each team would have the task of taking down some of Eggman's forces, to secure the area whilst recruiting any survivors and then moving on to another area. As Kill listened to Knuckles speak, it got the funny feeling that someone was watching. Kill looked at the Butler.

Kill knew that the Butler would attack and soon. Kill rose from its seat. "Outside"

Everyone stopped but the Butler nodded. The two left the room as everyone's eyes followed their movements. "What the fuck is this shit?" Mario asked.

Once outside, the Butler spoke up, "After all of this is finished, I wish to liberate you from this form"

"I am fine" Kill said.

"It is wrong. It is a false feeling. How dare you exist?"

"I exist for one reason"

"And that is?"

Kill itched its belly, "I want to explore this world and see what's beyond it"

"Nothing else?" The Butler asked. Kill shook its head, "Very well then. I stay my hand" The Butler said after a few seconds.

To Spider-man,

The city was being under attacked by Dr. Robotnik. While Peter knew little to nothing about the doctor, he did see how much of a threat the doctor was to the city. Perhaps even the world. But for now he needed to protect the citizens. Although his attempts at saving the people had mix results. While most people would allow him to rescue them, while others would try to attack. His latest rescue had tried to kill him with two machetes. The person referred to themself as Killface the Glory of Death. The two had fought a little at first, before Spidey left Killface to his own devices. Which at the time seemed to involve fighting the robots.  
It was also the old ladies that were giving him the most trouble. I believe it's because they have nothing to live for anymore that they'd be will to give into their darker and more inner nature of Death: KILL ALL THINGS! Spider-man once tried to save an 87 year old who immediately tried to stab him with a steak knife. Once on the ground, she fired a revolver that was quickly webbed up. "I'll kill you before my arthritis takes me out, bitch!" the one foot in the grave old lady threatened.

Spider-man had decided to just focus on fighting the robot problem for now. Clearly everyone in this city was insane and battle hungry. As he webbed up a few more drones together causing them to explode upon collision, he heard a voice call out to him. 

"HEY SPIDERMAN!"

Peter quickly web swung over to the one calling him out, "Hold on. I'll get you out of here!" Although, his spider-sense went off a bit.

Peter quickly dodged a punch from the stranger. "Shut up bitch"

The stranger was Buggs Bunny.

"Woah! What's wrong with you?" Peter asked as he jumped back.

"This whole city is getting destroyed by not only this Robotnik guy but also by its own citizens" Buggs pointed at the random fighting nearby. A lady broke into another house and began firing her AK-47. Instead of dealing with it the lawful way, a cop snuck up behind her and slit her throat with a pocket knife.

A few blocks down, a car was ramming into not only robots but innocent people as well.

"This..... This is insane!" Peter yelled, "We have to stop this!"

"I ain't stopping shit. You can go fuck yourself bitch" Buggs replied. He pulled out a carrot from another dimension and began eating it.

"But these are innocent people!"

"No they aren't. Let natural selection happen or you'll get this natural ass whopping" Buggs threatened.

Peter sighed, he knew Buggs was right. But doing nothing felt wrong. "Look... I'll fucking help you out. We'll save the city" Buggs said seeing how upset Peter looked, "But you're a bitch"

Peter looked at Buggs.

"You can go fuck yourself"

To Old man Knuckles,

Old man Knuckles hid in yet another Alley. Coming for him were two of Robotnik's robots. But before they could get closer, they were shot and destroyed.

"Who?" Old Knux's cried out.

A lady walked into view holding two SMGs. It was the lady from the apartment that Old Knux remembered breaking into with sonic and his group of thugs. "You?! What... What do you want?" He demanded.

"I heard you've been hiring people to attempt to kill that blue hedgehog" she said.

"Yeah? And?"

"Count me in"

Old Knux walked over to her, "We'll need 3 more members" he stated.

"Why? Are you planning anything?"

"Yes.... Something quite Sinister"

To Sonic,

Sonic spin-dashed through a few robots before realizing someone was behind him. It was Goofy! Goofy slammed his fist into Sonic's face causing the blue hedgehog to fly back into the dirt. Goofy ran, jumped and then slammed his boots into Sonic's stomach. "Take that bitch!" Goofy yelled.

Shadow ran up and tackled Goofy. S-dog ran over and kicked Sonic in the face before throwing grenades into random buildings. "It's time to Michael Bay this shit!" S-dog yelled as explosions went off all around the area. Shadow was proud. 

"Fuck you Shadow!" Goofy yelled as he delivered a savage root hook to Shadow's face. Shadow countered with a uppercut. "Suck my balls you useless cunt!" Shadow yelled back.

Goofy's fist began to glow and he slammed it into Shadow's stomach. Shadow fell back, clutching his stomach with one hand and a Chaos spear with the other. "I'll kill you for that!" Shadow spat out.

"Shadow. Let me handle Goofy" Tails said as he shot down 3 more robots. "FUCK YOU BITCH!" Shadow shouted as he threw the Chaos Spear at Tails.

Luigi countered the spear with a fireball resulting in an explosion. "Shadow... You insane bastard. I'll use your skull to bash baby squirrels into paste" Luigi sated.

"Fuck you green guy!" Shadow yelled. 

"Shut up bitch" Goofy yelled. He slapped Shadow and turned to Tails and Luigi.

"You want to deal with me? Ha! Don't make me laugh" Goofy said pointing at Tails. Tails frowned.

Shadow quickly took this as an opportunity to punch Goofy in the face, pull out a gun and fire it at Tails and Luigi.

While this went on, Daffy was firing Shocker's gauntlets at Donald, who was evading the blasts. "Stay still, damn you!" Daffy yelled. Donald pressed a button on a watch he was wearing.

Within seconds, a large machine flew to Donald, who Power Ranger jumped inside of it. "Fuck my life" Daffy said. The machine was called Hammer Killer. It was essentially a giant Eggpawn that could be operated by a person. The machine was equipped with a large hammer as the name indicates, a large fist and a flight unit.

A few of Shadow's boys ran up and opened fire upon the Hammer Killer. "Follow me to a different area. It'll be fully populated, so there will be plenty of civilian deaths" Daffy explained.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Donald asked.

"Shut up bitch" one of Shadow's boys yelled.

"Boys! Go break into random buildings and kill people!" Daffy ordered.

"An airstrike was already ordered" another boy replied.

Donald said nothing to this. He prepared to finish off his opposition fairly quickly. He knew in order to complete his mission, he'd have to either kill his enemies or stall long enough that his employer could steal back his Chaos Emerald. Donald fired a series of rockets that Daffy just destroyed via the shock gauntlets. The close proximity of the explosions caused heavy damage to Donald's machine. "Fucking shit!" Donald yelled as he slammed his fist upon the control panel.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH" Daffy screamed as he ran at the Hammer Killer while dodging all the hammer swings. One nearly got him, but he propelled himself away via a shock-wave.. Once getting close enough, he jumped and fired several shock-waves at the Hammer Killer. Donald quickly moved his machine out the way to avoid most of the blows. A few shock-waves however, were able to hit the damaged Egg-unit and Donald ejected.

"Damn you!" Donald cursed.

Far above them were jets flying in to bomb the city.

To Kill,

Kill sat by its wife outside. As they gazed upon the midday weather, Kill thought,

'Perhaps I should leave this planet with this woman. It would be worth it. I can make a new planet habitable for her and perhaps even create new beings'

Mario walked over to the two. "Fuck the planet" Mario stated before walking away.

Kill got up, "It is time"

To Espio,

Espio and Antoine almost made it to Sonic and the group's location when the jets Shadow's boys called in began dropping their bombs. "Shit!" Espio cursed, "We need to find cover!"

Antoine pointed to the sewers and they quickly escaped there. "We'll have to find another way" Antoine said.

Espio nodded and the two took off.

To Knuckles,

Knuckles and the three teams stood in front of the house. Each team would be transported to a different part of the city. Once there, they would take back each sector.

"I hope everyone is ready" Knuckles announced.

"Fuck you bitch" Mario said.

Mighty walked over to Mario and slapped him, "Shut the fuck up" 

Mario punched Mighty in the stomach. Mighty countered with an elbow to Mario's jaw. Mario prepared a fireball.

"STOP!" Knuckles yelled.

"Fine. Let's start this mission!" Mario said. He stepped away from Mighty. Mighty flipped Mario off. Mario stepped towards Mighty, "Getting real sick of your shit.... Real sick of it"

Knuckles stepped forward, "Mario...."

"No Knuckles. I'm doing this" Mario looked towards the Butler, "Do it"

The Butler nodded and teleported Mario's people away.

"Knuckles I..." Mighty began but was interrupted when he and the rest of the group were teleported too. Now everyone was in the same area. "Listen up. That bullshit plan Knuckles made probably won't work. I'm leading my maids to take down Eggman!"

"Mario! You can't just do this!" Knuckles yelled.

"Shut the fuck up Knuckles. I'm stronger than you! I'll decide what we do now!" Mario yelled.

Mighty ran and tackled Mario. He raised a fist, but as he moved it to punch Mario, someone grabbed it. It was Angela, "Stop or die!" she yelled.

"Fuck you!" Mighty yelled.

Mario head-butted Mighty and followed it up with a devastating fire fist punch. Mighty flew back.

Vector and Knuckles ran at Mario's group. Although, since they were all in the city, an Eggship noticed them. It soon began to open fire on the area. Kill and the Butler shielded the group from the blasts. 

"HOLY SHIT!" Mario yelled.

"FUCK YOU SASUAGE BITCH!" Mighty yelled as he ran at Mario. Angela nooked an arrow and aimed at Mighty.

"Don't you dare come any further!" Angela threatened. Mighty ignored her and she shot the arrow. Knuckles pushed Mighty out of the way at the last second but was shot himself. The arrow lodged into his eye.  
Knuckles screamed in pain as he fell to the floor. Vector rushed towards Knuckles. Mighty ignored this and continued toward Mario. Mario ordered his maid to stop as he ran towards Knuckles. It was Vector who reached Knuckles first and Mighty who tackled Mario moments afterwards. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Mario yelled.

"It was your fault that Knuckles got hurt in the first place. So I'm going to take it out on you" Mighty said as he punched Mario. But Mario exploded the area in a aura of flames. Mighty flew back once again. 

As this happened, Alex, the other maids, and the Butler were fighting off the Eggship and its mini-fighters. All the fighting attracted Eggpawns who Kill destroyed via energy blasts. 

"Mighty.... You are finished" Mario said.

Mighty rose up with the power of hatred. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Mighty roared. "Suck my balls, cunt" Mario replied.

Mighty summoned all of his strength into one punch and leapt at Mario. Mario summoned a fire fist and did the same. The two met in the air with a violent explosion that sent shock-waves across the area. A few of the mini-fighters exploded.

Vector was being swept away until Kill teleported him beside it.

To Sonic,

Shadow's jets were bombing the city. Soon many people would die for no reason at all. Sonic wanted to drag people out of the buildings so they could die faster, but the police showed up and open fired at the Eggpawns and various robots Donald had brought. "Fuck you bitch!" Sonic yelled at a cop. The cop gave him the finger.

As the sounds of explosions became louder, the people of the city began to panic and riot. Pretty soon the military would be called in and with them G.U.N.

"Shit. I better wrap this up" Goofy said.

"Fuck you bitch!" Shadow shouted as he jumped at Goofy. Goofy punched Shadow in the face just as Shadow unleashed an Chaos Blast. Sonic used his Chaos Emerald to teleport out of there. "FUCKING SHIT!" Luigi screamed, seeing Sonic do the thing he just done did not too long ago.

Sonic had teleported back to the main ship but was instantly aware of his mistake. The whole ship had been taken over by Eggbots. "Fuck this shit!" Sonic yelled as he spin-dashed through a few bots. He pulled out a machete and automatic assault riffle. As he began fighting through the robots, he noticed someone behind him.

Sonic had narrowly dodged a shock-wave from none other than the Shocker.

"Fuck you bitch! I'll cut your head off and use your face as a fuck pillow" Sonic threatened.

"No more games hedgehog" The Shocker said.

"Suck my balls cunt ass motherfucker. You're a piece of shit. I can't wait to use your dead body as a parachute when I escape this plane. I'll use your dead body as a meat shield to rob banks"

"You are one messed up individual. Ah cannot wait ta shut ya the hell up" Shocker stated.

"Fuck this place!" Sonic shouted as he pulled out a grenade. Just then, Daffy called. Sonic picked up and put it on speaker, "DO IT SONIC! CRASH OUR PLANE INTO THE CITY BELOW!" He screamed.

"Thanks Daffy" Sonic said as he hung up.

"Ya better not" Shocker warned.

To Daffy,

Daffy's fight with Donald had turned into a battle of fists. "Fuck you bitch!" Daffy yelled as he threw out a fist of fury. Donald easily blocked it and countered with a side kick. Daffy jumped back and realized something. He quickly pulled out his phone and called Sonic. While that happened, two of Shadow's boys ran at Donald.

There were many explosions going off all around the city, so Daffy had to yell into the phone. By the time Daffy finished his call, Donald had killed off his opponents. "FUCK YOU!" Daffy yelled. He ran at Donald for another round.

"I should have known those cannon fodder were no match for you" Daffy yelled. Another one of Shadow's boys, one called Fistman, spoke up "Fuck you bitch. We boys can kill anyone!"

"Why'd they die then?" Donald asked.

"They... Killed their maximum amount of people!" Fistman shouted.

"They had a maximum of 0 people? Maybe they should have just killed themselves" Daffy suggested.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea. At least they'll get one kill in before they succumb to their own worthlessness" Donald Added.

"Fuck Shadow and fuck his boys" Daffy said.

"I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU!!" Fistman yelled as he ran at the two ducks.

Donald and Daffy easily dodged all the swings from an angry Fistman. Fistman instantly knew what was wrong and activated Program Advanced. His hits started connecting to faces. Daffy's face to be more exact. Since after all, Donald was using him as a human shield. "FUCK YOU BITCH!!!" Daffy swore.

Donald picked up and threw Daffy at Fistman. The two collided and Donald threw a grenade. Daffy quickly grabbed it and threw it into a random house. There was an explosion and screams. "Let me go kill the survivors" Daffy said. He placed a hand on his ear. With one finger, he pressed a button.

Donald and Fistman shook their head no. "Fuck you guys" Daffy said as he fired shock-waves at Donald and Fistman.

The blast sent the two flying back. "Fuck this shit man. I'm finding Lena and leaving" Daffy said as he walked away. But before he left, he pressed a button in his ear again.

He pulled out a cigar and began to smoke. "FUCK YOU DUCK! FUCK YOU!! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY OUR BOSS!?!?" Fistman yelled as he rose. Daffy turned to face him. He threw a cigar at Donald, who caught it with one hand. 

Donald knew what this meant, as he pulled a revolver from his secret pocket. He quickly turned and shot Fistman in the head. 

"Go"

Daffy nodded and left.

To Spider-man,

As Spider-man and Buggs fought off more Eggpawns, they felt a massive shock-wave. "Eeeeeh, what the fuck was that?" Buggs asked.

Peter jumped in the air and began swinging in that direction, "I don't know, but I'm going to find out"

"Suuuure. And leave me with these guys right here" Buggs said sarcastically as he dodged a Robo punch. "Fucking bitch ass punk" Buggs flipped off Peter before continuing his fight.

As Spider-man got closer to the action, his spider sense began to go off louder than an egg popper in the Church of Absolute Silence. The persons or person responsible for such actions were immediately dealt with, just for your information. Two large airships were opening fire at what appeared to be an energy shield. There were signs of return fire being shot, although they did little damage.

"Woah, looks like I got a lot to deal with" Peter said to himself as he flung himself behind the shieldings.

He landed behind Mario, who was laying on the floor from his fight with Mighty. Although the armadillo was nowhere to be seen.

"He's dead"

"Huh? Who's dead?" Peter asked.

"Mighty. My fire punch overwhelmed his attack. At the last moment I ate three of those fire-flowers, so my punch went through him. OH GOD! MY FUCKING PUNCH WENT THROUGH HIM!!!" Mario screamed.

Peter backed up a bit, "Uh, are you going to be OK?"

Mario sat up, "Do I look like I'm going to be okay? You fucking stupid piece of shit. Fucking bitch. You're a dumb sack of potatoes! Go lick my maids asses! You cunt ass motherfucking bitch. I want you to get down on your hands and knees and lick my balls. You fucking shit asshole"

"Woah! Calm down!" Spider-man yelled.

"No! Fuck you" Mario said, "Now shut up and let me show you my full power"

Mario got up and ran towards the shield. After eating five more fire-flowers, he summoned the largest fireball ever and threw it at the airships. They exploded and fell upon the city. 

Vector made his way up to Mario with Knuckles. As the three stared off with an intensity that could kill 10,000 angry birds, Vector spoke up. "You should have done that in the first place"

The two walked off, leaving Mario there.

"Fuck you bitch!" Mario yelled.

Knuckles paused by Peter, "Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm here to help out if I can. I have a friend that's not too far from here" Peter explained. He noticed one of Knuckles eyes were damaged, "Are you going to be OK?"

"Yeah." Knuckles said, he then called for Kill, who teleported in front of them. "Where is your friend?" Knuckles asked.

"In front of that library downtown" Peter replied.

Kill teleported them all there.

"Woah!" Peter yelled out.

To Sonic, 

Sonic dodged yet another shock-wave, "You can't take me! You're a disgrace and soon we'll both be dead! This includes everyone on board here this plane jet thing" Sonic announced.

"We're on a plane" Shocker replied, "And ya're talking nonsense!" 

Shocker went in for a punch but had to retreat from the machete swing. "That's right bitch!" Sonic called out. He dived forward to stab the Shocker until a Eggpawns that was painted purple teleported behind him. 

'Don't say it..... Don't say it' Sonic thought.

It didn't say it. It could have, but such actions would only result in unnecessary cringe. In this story, we go beyond the powers of weird and cringey content. We go straight to your mother's home and drink the last soda or pop or whatever you call your sugar filled drink. We eat all the left overs and steal her coupons.

The purple Eggpawns pinned Sonic to the ground. Shocker kicked Sonic in the face. "Where are those two idiots on this plane? Are they dead? I want to see their bodies. Especially Assassin maid's body" Sonic said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

He assumed necrophilia was OK, since not too long ago, Shadow masturbated in front of a character named bagman. Plus, Assassin maid had big boobs. Very big boobs. And Sonic liked that.

"They're not dead"

"DAMNIT!!!!" Sonic screamed, "GO FIND AND KILL THEM NOW"

Shocker kicked Sonic in the face again.

To Willie,

Willie and the Assassin maid had managed to take a Chaos Emerald before the Eggpawns broke into the ship. Using Chaos Control, the two teleported to a safe location on the outskirts of town. There, they waited.  
And very soon, Daffy and Lena showed up.

"We need to get out of here" Willie said.

To Tails,

"SOON EVERYONE WILL BE DEAD!" Shadow shouted.

Tails and Luigi stared at both Shadow and Goofy. The city was being blown to pieces and the air was being filled with screams. "Fuck this city. Why'd we even come here?" Luigi asked.

"Luigi... We need to get out of here" Tails said

"You're not going anywhere" Shadow said. 

"Neither are you, bitch!" Goofy yelled at Shadow.

"Wait!"

"What is it?" Goofy and Shadow yelled.

"How did you survive, Goofy?" Tails asked.

Shadow stepped forward right as Goofy opened his mouth, "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!" Shadow screamed as he unleashed the biggest Chaos Blast he's ever done. Luigi jumped back, Tails flew up and grabbed Luigi. Goofy pressed a button on his watch and teleported away. The explosion left a large crater. Darkness Lad and the four remaining boys Chaos Controlled beside Shadow. 

"Boss, that Goofy guy and the Duck ran away." A boy reported.

Shadow said nothing as he knew the story was wrapping up. "Very well then" Shadow mumbled to himself, as he watched Tails fly Luigi away.

He turned to his boys, "Call off the air strike boys! I want this city" Shadow ordered.

To Mario,

Mario sat by himself. His Driver leaned lovingly on his side. But he didn't care. His Butler stood near him.

His maids gathered around him.

He took his time before speaking up.

"We're going to take back this city" Mario decided.

But they would have to get back into it. After Knuckles had left, the Butler teleported them back to the mansion. "I need to talk to my brother..."

To Spider-man,

Buggs had taken Peter and his new allies to a safe location underground.

"We should be fine here as long as Eggman doesn't send anyone to actually look for us" Buggs said.

Nate had finished bandaging up Knuckles eye. "I'm going to lose it aren't I?" Knuckles asked. Nate nodded.

"Well fuck" Knuckles laughed.

"I can't believe he's dead..." Vector said sadly, "Mighty's going to be so pissed..."

"We'll have to deal with that later" Knuckles said.

"How are we going to take back this city?" Peter asked.

"I say fuck this city. We should go to another one, but bug boy here, wants to be a hero" Buggs said, pointing at Spider-man.

"We need to stop Eggman" Vector said.

"Then think of a plan" Buggs said.

"I hate to say this... But we need Sonic" Knuckles said.

To Sonic,

"Shocker. The doctor said we have what we came for" the purple Eggpawn reported.

"Chaos Emeralds nabbed already?" Shocker said surprised, "Well hot damn! Look at that! Time to kill this one and leave!"

"Just crash the ship into the city and go. I want to take as many people with me as I can" Sonic said.

"He's..... He's not bluffing" the purple Eggpawn said.

Shocker pressed a button on his watch, "Nope, I'm blowing her up. 8 seconds left"

The purple Eggpawn picked up Sonic and threw him. It then grabbed the Shocker and teleported away. Sonic hit the wall and fell to the floor. He quickly got up, pulled out his hidden Chaos Emerald and Chaos Controlled to the city below.

Shadow saw Sonic and punched him in the balls. "You're my prisoner now bitch"

"Fucking shit... I saved you..." Sonic said as he fell to the floor. He dropped his Chaos Emerald.

Seconds later, there was a large explosion in the air.

Shadow picked up the Chaos Emerald and stepped on Sonic's face.

His boys gathered around him and cheered. 'I am all of me' played in the background. Shadow had won this battle.

In the distance, Espio and Antoine stood by. Planning their next move.

To Yogi,

Yogi sat inside of a Starbucks. Everyone who was working inside it were dead, this included the customers. Even though customers don't count as working members of the Starbucks establishment, we will ignore that fact. Or you will, as I have commanded you to do as such. He wanted to be first in line, but no one would let him. So he killed them all. Outside was a strange man who suddenly burst inside the place. In his hands were a picnic basket and cigars. It was Jack.

"Holy shit! A picnic basket for me?" Yogi blurted out. "Yup" Jack said, "You can thank your new friend here" 

Jack turned to the side just as Bagman came in.

"Who the fuck are you?" Yogi demanded. Bagman said nothing and moved to the side.

And in came, Zargak, the Kill of Kills. "I need your help"

"With what!?" Yogi yelled.

"Help me find the Master Emerald"

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Yogi screamed as he itched his belly. He got up, "I'll do it though"

The Kill of Kills smiled.


End file.
